


Lean On Me

by rosixquinn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, minsung outsold, this is like all over the place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosixquinn/pseuds/rosixquinn
Summary: After five years of struggling to become an idol, Seo Changbin finally meets someone who makes all the time lost seem worth it.





	1. Congratulations

**Author's Note:**

> GOING CHANGLIX

Changbin unlocks the apartment building’s door and makes his way up, taking two stairs at a time. It’s a path he has walked every single day for five years, two of those years alone, without his dorm mates. Those two said years being the saddest time of his life. 

 

He is so occupied with his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the boxes on the third floor before his leg gets tangled between two of the boxes and he trips, making the box on his right dumble down with him. 

 

Changbin gets up quickly, cheeks reddening at a furious speed. “Shit,” he whispers to himself, thinking back on the loud crash he made. “Could I get any fucking clumsier?” 

 

Now he has two options: he knocks on the closest apartment’s door (which he thought was empty, so these must be their new neighbours moving in, way to go Changbin) and apologises while dying of embarrassment, or he runs to their dorm and hides, considering it’s only a few feet away and he won’t have to talk to strangers this way.

 

He goes for the second, of course, running for his life while his hand searches through his pocket, only to find nothing. He stops, panic rising through the roof. What a great time to lose his keys. 

 

“Looking for these?” Someone’s voice cuts through, making Changbin spin on his heels. He’s glad when the person he finds is his roommate, Jisung. 

 

“Jisung!” He whisper-yells. “You startled me, man. Come on, give me the keys, we gotta unlock the door. Quick.” He motions for Jisung to come closer, but he doesn’t. 

 

“Did you make this mess, Bin?” He smiles cheekily. “You know, Minho hyung is gonna be pissed at you.” 

 

“Who the fuck is Minho hyung?” Changbin feels his stomach drop, imagining a 6 feet tall guy who carries around a baseball bat and steps on snails for fun. “Come on, Sungie, let’s talk about your hyung inside, please, I don’t wanna die yet. I haven’t even debuted yet.” 

 

For Changbin’s luck, Jisung walks up to him and starts unlocking their apartment door. “I’m joking, I have no idea who that Minho is. All I know is that we’ve got some new neighbours, Binnie, but of course you already ruined our relationship with them.” He laughs, while pushing the door open. 

 

Changbin rushes inside, making sure to lock the door after them. 

 

“Chill, they won’t know it was you breaking their stuff.” 

 

“God, be quiet for once. They might hear you.” Changbin leans against the door, sliding down to sit on the carpet. He was just coming home from practice, how the hell did he manage to make such a big mess. “If you breathe about this to Chan, I’ll post the video of you crying while watching Twice’s music videos on twitter.”

 

“Hey, every normal human being cries while watching the nation’s girl group’s music videos. I ain’t scared of you, Binnie.” Jisung smiles, taking off his shoes and leaving Changbin to suffer alone. This is something that his crusty toed friend will probably never let him forget. 

 

Changbin rests his head on his palms and takes a deep breath, thinking about all the awkward scenarios he’s gonna have to deal with it. “I’m such a dumbass.”

  
  
  
  


It’s been a week since that corridor accident and for now Changbin’s still alive. His head is still in place and hasn’t gotten a single hit from the 6 feet tall baseball player Minho. He still thinks about it every time he leaves and comes back home but the embarrassment has died a little bit. 

 

It’s when they’ve just finished their nightly rap class, all slouched down on the floor, when Chan brings the topic up.

 

“So, I met our new neighbours.” He exclaims suddenly, clapping his hands together like he always does when he’s excited. Where does this guy get that energy from is a surprise to all of them. “You won’t believe what happened to them.” 

 

“Oh, I’m sure I will.” Jisung winks at Changbin, missing the look Chan sends their way. But he shrugs it off, used to their weirdness. 

 

“So, the day they moved in, someone had the audacity to break some of their stuff. Like, I guess the person was mad or something and pushed over some of their boxes.” Chan talks, every word making Changbin more nervous. He can see from the corner of his eye how big the smile’s getting on Jisung’s face. 

 

“I’m gonna kick you to Antarctica, Jisungie.” Changbin whispers sweetly. “Stop smiling you dumbass.” 

 

“I’m missing something, aren’t I?” Chan props on his elbows, a curious look on his face. “If you won’t tell me I’m gonna burn your plushies, Bin.” 

 

“You leave my plushies alone, murderer.” He snaps back, getting up. At this rate Jisung will tell Chan anyway, so it’s time he runs for his life. “I’m gonna, uhh, go get some water.” He breathes quickly and rushes off. 

 

He’s only a corner away when he hears Chan yell something along the lines, “He did what?” He speeds up his pace, almost running. He’s too tired to deal with a “I didn’t raise you this way” kinda lecture from Chan. He knows Chan won’t be mad for too long, but he will probably make him apologise and that’s something Changbin really doesn’t wanna do. 

 

He had been pacing through the corridors without thinking for so long, he ended up on the side where the dance classes are. It’s mostly quiet at this time, considering how the night classes have ended a long time ago. Still, he can hear some music coming from the last room in this corridor. 

 

He looks around, to make sure no one’s watching him, and then starts walking quietly towards the last class. The door’s open, so it’s only reasonable he decides to peek in a little.

 

He’s surprised when he finds an unfamiliar boy, probably younger than him, practicing alone. The guy’s so into his dancing, he doesn’t notice Changbin creeping, and he’s glad for that. Just means he can stare and enjoy the view for as long as he wants. 

 

Changbin’s been a trainee at the JYP Entertainment for five years, and he’d like to think he knows every trainee, atleast by the face. So this guy must be new, he’s sure of that. 

 

He’s beautiful. 

 

Like really fucking beautiful. 

 

His golden hair is all sweaty and up, freeing his forehead, and his eyes are so big, Changbin swears he has never seen eyes so beautiful before.

 

Changbin’s good at dancing, but heck, this guy is even better than Jisung. And Jisung’s like  _ really really  _ good.

 

It’s when his eyes lock with the boy’s in the mirror and he gives him a smile brighter than the sun that Changbin actually stumbles.

 

Fuck, he’s been caught.

 

“You can come in, I won’t bite.” Wait, did this low cave voice really just come out of this guy’s mouth? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU LIKE DID YOU LIKE IT


	2. I'll remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun writing this jsjsjs

 

“And then he told me to come in. He really fucking asked me to come in, like I hadn’t been creeping on him for the last five minutes.” Changbin says, furious and embarrassed, thinking back on the incident that had happened.

 

“Don’t curse.” Chan says, giving him _that_ look. Their back at their dorm, Changbin and Chan sitting on the couch, while Jisung is laying down on the floor. He does that a lot, it’s not weird to sleep on the floor, not _at all_. “So what did you do?”

 

“I fucking ran away, hyung.” Changbin’s face flushes red, remembering the guy’s confused face when Changbin just stared at him, without coming closer. “I’m so embarrassed, I’ll never be able to face him again.”

 

“You’re hilarious, Binnie.” Jisung laughs, and rolls over on his back. “But I think you’re being overdramatic, like you tend to be.”

 

“I gotta agree with Jisung, Bin.” Chan nods, “You don’t even know this guy, no need to get so worked up over this.”

 

“Still, hyung, how much more awkward can I get?” Changbin whines, leaning on his roommate. Chan accepts him with open arms, letting Changbin bury his face in his chest.

 

“It’s okay, Bin.” Chan pats him on the back, comforting. “Let papa Chan take care of you.”

 

“Don’t say that, it’s not cool.” Changbin muffles into Chan’s hoodie, making Chan’s body shake with laughter.

 

“Hey, but you could tell us about his apperance more specifically.” Jisung says, looking at Chan and Changbin. “One of us has to know him.”

 

“Well,” Changbin thinks about his big smile and amazing dance skills, the way the music guided his body. “He really had the most beautiful smile ever.”

 

“Something more detailed, please. Your whippery won’t help right now.” Jisung says, laughing when Changbin glares at him. How couldn’t he already be whipped for a guy as beautiful as him?

 

“He’s right.” Chan nods again. “Wait, he talked to you, right? Didn’t he have like a different dialect or something?”

 

“Oh my god.” Changbin pushes himself up into a sitting position, freeing himself from Chan’s arms. “I’m so dumb. I totally already forgot.”

 

“What?” Chan asks, confused.

 

“He,” Changbin breathes dramatically, “had the most lowest voice I’ve ever heard. Like, I’m not kidding, it came out of a cave and-”

 

“That’s Felix!” Chan and Jisung yell at the same time, interrupting Changbin mid-sentence, while excitement fills their bodies.

 

“Wait, how do you know him?” Jisung turns to Chan, face confused.

 

“How do _you_ know him?” Chan asks back, glaring at Jisung.

 

“How do you both know him and I don’t?” Changbin asks, repeatedly turning his gaze from one to another. “Why would you keep him from me?”

 

“You’re literally a dumbass, Changbin.” Chan says, and then turns to Jisung. “So, how did you meet him?”

 

“We had a rap class together and we bonded quickly! He’s the same age as me.” Jisung exclaims happily.

 

“So he’s as dumb as you, great.” Changbin mutters, not missing the smile on Jisung’s face when he talked about Felix.

 

“Shut up, Bin, you’re just jealous that I can actually talk to people without running away.” Jisung glares at him, then turns to Chan. “How do you know him?”

 

“Oh, you won’t believe this.” Chan says, smiling. “He’s a fellow aussie, like, we literally couldn’t have a better neighbour.”

 

“What?” Changbin hides his face in his hands. “He’s our neighbour? I tripped between _his_ boxes in the corridor?”

 

“Ah, it wasn’t just Felix’s stuff. Most of it was Minho’s.” Chan says.

 

“Minho’s?” Changbin screams, the horror clear in his face. “The 6 feet tall baseball player? Oh my god, I’m dead.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about? What baseball player?” Chan asks, hitting Changbin on the arm. “Can you stop being so dramatic, for once, please. Minho is literally as tall as me. The only tall one out of them is Hyunjin, but I really doubt he plays baseball.”

 

“You said he’s from Australia like you, Chan hyung? That’s so cool.” Jisung says, ignoring Changbin’s panic attack. “I want to meet them all. They seem really fun.”

 

“Well, I don’t.” Changbin mutters. “Maybe I should just leave JYP Entertainment and you guys can debut as 2RACHA.”

 

“2RACHA sounds lame,” Jisung says. “If it didn’t sound lame, we would let you leave JYPE, but no.”

 

“Jisung’s just kidding.” Chan assures Changbin when he hears the whine the fellow one let out. “You haven’t worked your ass off all these years just to leave because of Felix.”

 

“Let’s just go to bed, Bin.” Jisung starts to stand up, stretching his arms that must’ve gone limp from laying down for so long. “You need energy to be awkward tomorrow, too.”

  
  


Changbin was sitting in his favorite coffee shop, the one near by their apartment building. He had found the place randomly, once when he was ordered to bring coffee for Chan. Why was he taking orders from Chan? Who knows.

 

The place is not very big and it’s very cosy, just how Changbin likes it. Once in a while he needs to be somewhere where it’s not crowded, and he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.

 

He was just working on producing some tracks, one earbud in, when he hears _that_ voice. He doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Felix. Had it been anybody else, he would’ve definitely missed the person, but apparently Felix’s voice rings in his head even more loudly than the music.

 

He is thankful for the cap he’s wearing, knowing there’s no way Felix will recognise him when half of his face his hidden.

 

He waits for the guy to give in his order, and then, just because he really wants to atleast get a glimpse of the cutie, he turns his head in his direction.

 

And of course, because Changbin is just _so_ lucky, Felix is staring right back at him.

 

It takes him a moment to realise who he’s facing and then he’s coming straight up to Changbin. Oh fucking no.

 

“Oh my god, it’s you!” Felix _accuses_? Fuck, did Chan tell him it was Changbin who broke their stuff? Oh shit. Changbin tries to huddle and make himself tinier, but no, Felix is still looking directly at him.

 

“It’s you!” Felix says again, stopping in front of Changbin. If it’s easier to confess quickly and get his sweet death, then he’ll do it.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Changbin stands up quickly, regretting it immediately when he realises Felix is a little bit taller than him. “I didn’t mean to break your stu-”

 

“What are you talking about?” Felix interrupts Changbin and smiles. He turns around and waves to the two guys standing by the door, one like 3 feet taller than the other. “Hey, come here, this is the hyung who creeped on me in the practice room!”

Oh.

 

Can the floor just swallow Changbin. Please.

 

“They’re my roommates, Minho and Hyunjin.” Felix explains quickly, turning his attention back to Changbin.

 

Excuse me, but why are they all so beautiful and intimidating? Trainees aren’t allowed to look like models.

 

And even if Chan hyung said they aren’t baseball players, who bully little kids, Changbin knows they’re here for blood. For Changbin’s blood. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realised i had my twt @ wrong lol :DD but i fixed it so you can follow me now if u want ehheh


	3. What Can I Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this came out of depression (but also happiness bc chan is ALIVE)

“So this is the famous Changbin, huh.” Minho says, coming up behind Felix and resting his head on one of Felix’s shoulder’s, Hyunjin copying Minho’s movements and resting his head on the other shoulder. This way they look like a three-headed dog, or even cooler, a dragon. Since, you know, they really do look _intimidating_ like dragons, that are ready to spit fire in his direction.

 

“Felix has been ranting a lot about you after that one incident in the practice room.” The taller one, Hyunjin, says then. “Not gonna lie, I’m getting kinda jealous at the amount of attention he is giving you.”

 

Then he wraps his arms around Felix’s waist, the movement seeming so comfortable and familiar for them that Changbin feels jealous. Not because he likes Felix, he barely knows the guy, but because he has never experienced that. Okay, maybe with Chan and Jisung, but still. It looks comforting and good.

 

It’s when Felix leans against Hyunjin’s chest and smiles the widest, most purest smile that Changbin has ever seen, that he _really_ feels jealous. Will he ever be able to make the latter smile like that? And what is it about that smile that makes Changbin lose his control?

 

“Stop it, guys. You’re being overdramatic.” Felix laughs, the sound ringing in Changbin’s head, sure it will stay there for a long time.

 

“We?” Minho scoffs, taking a step towards Felix, maybe trying to intimidate Felix. This way, he really reminds Changbin of Jisung. Jisung is always walking around his chin way too high up, towards the sky. But Jisung’s tricks don’t work on him and Chan, Jisung could never be intimidating. He has chubby cheeks! Chubby! Cheeks!

 

“When you’re the one who’s been talking about Mister Chang-”

 

But the rest of the sentence is cut off, because Felix slaps a hand over Hyunjin’s lips and shushes him in an instant.

 

“We’ll be going now, I’m so sorry we wasted your time, hyung.” Felix apologises, bowing a little and smiling apologetically. It’s then that Changbin realises he has been quiet the whole time. What a fucking weirdo.

 

“I-it’s okay.” He coughs, suddenly his voice unstable. But he blames it on the fact that he hasn’t used it for a long time. Not because an angel is smiling at him. Not at all.

 

“Wow, he has a voice.” Minho says, raising a brow at Changbin.

 

“Like you don’t spend your nights listening to 3RACHA’s tracks on soundcloud.” Felix says, pointing a finger towards Minho. “I think you know damn well how Changbin’s voice sounds like.” Changbin blushes a little, so he ducks his head, hoping no one pays attention to him right now. It’s flattering to hear that people actually listen to their songs, even if they haven’t officially debuted.

 

“Nah,” Hyunjin shakes his head, “He listens to 3RACHA because of Jisung and his sexy voice.”

 

“Shut up, it’s sentimental, not sexy.” Minho says, not even bothered by the fact that one of the official 3RACHA members now knows about his crush on Jisung.

 

“I can’t believe I had to hear this with my own two ears.” Changbin mutters to himself, but looks up quickly when he hears Felix laugh at his comment.

 

“I’m truly sorry, hyung.” Felix smiles again. “Well, maybe, you know, if you ever wanna get coffee without these dumbasses, you can hit me up.” Felix leans down and enters Changbin’s personal space. Does he even know what personal space means?

 

“What are you doing?” Changbin asks, quietly, when the latter starts searching something on his laptop. Changbin’s fucking laptop.

 

“I’m just gonna leave my number in your notes. If you want to take the chance, do it.” He says, and then he is out of Changbin’s personal space, grabbing Hyunjin and Minho by their arms and dragging them out of the coffee shop.

 

Now this is something that Chan and Jisung need to know as soon as possible.

  


“Are you still sulking?” Jisung says, entering the practice room and tossing Changbin a water bottle. Changbin’s hands feel like jelly after a brutal dance practice, but the last thing he wants to do is whine in front of Jisung. He needs to set a good example for Jisung, after all.

 

“Thank you for the water, I was about to die.” Changbin says after a while, getting up from the floor to throw away the empty plastic bottle. “And for your information, I have nothing to sulk about.”

 

“Oh, so you finally texted Felix?” Jisung asks, hopeful.

 

“N-no.” Changbin sighs. “Why do I need to? It’s not like I’m interested in him.”

 

“No one said anything about being interested in each other.” Jisung scoffs, sarcastically. He rests his arm around Changbin’s shoulders and starts leading them out of the JYP Entertainment building. “You’re just missing out on an amazing friendship.”

 

He knows Jisung is right, after all, Changbin has only heard great things about Felix. It’s hard not to when Chan and Jisung keep hanging out at the latter’s dorm. Of course they always invite Changbin too, but he’s not good at making friends. Or he doesn’t want to be.

 

He knows he has future together with Chan and Jisung, but what if he gets close to Felix and his friends just to be broken apart when some of them debut and the others don’t. _“You can still stay friends. Friendships don’t end so easily.”_ No. Changbin has watched many of his other trainee friends debut or change companys, and really, there’s just no time to keep up with someone that isn’t a part of your daily life anymore.

 

That’s just how the industry in Korea works.

 

Changbin and Jisung often fall into a comfortable silence when they’re together, so it’s not a surprise when Changbin finally snaps out of his thoughts when they’ve just made it to the diner.

 

“Oh, we’re already here.” Changbin says, opening the door to their main eating spot. They’ve visited this place almost every night these last years when they’ve lived together.

 

“Yeah, I saw you thinking hard and I didn’t wanna interrupt.” Jisung says, smiling a little. “Do you see an empty table?”

 

They both look around, noticing a few empty tables and booths. Changbin starts walking towards one when a hand comes to stop him. “I think Minho hyung is here.”

 

“Minho hyung? You call him hyung?” Changbin scoffs, letting Jisung drag him in the other direction. Apparently, he can’t even get dinner without seeing the new guys anymore.

 

Minho is sitting in the furthest corner, a snapback hiding his bare face. He looks tired, probably because of a night class, but still content. It’s weird seeing him alone, without his other model friends, Hyunjin and Felix.

 

Jisung pats Minho on the back lightly, a fond smile on his face that Changbin just can’t miss. Minho jerks a little, but not enough to shake Jisung’s hand off. “Jisung, you startled me!”

 

“Hyung, are you here alone?” Jisung asks. “Me and Changbin hyung were just about to get dinner, mind if we join you?”

 

Changbin feels awkward and uninvited, even if Jisung mentioned his name to Minho. From now on he’s just gonna order take out to the dorm, so there will be no awkward dinners.

 

“Sure thing.” Minho nods and pats the seat next to him. “Changbin, sit here. I feel like we two could get closer.”

 

“Uh. Sure.” Changbin sends a _save me, please_ look to Jisung, only to get an unbothered shrug back, and slowly sits down.

 

Changbin’s glad Jisung has always been the chatty one, meaning Changbin can just quickly finish his dinner and excuse himself from the other two's company.

 

The conversation between Minho and Jisung falls naturally, and Changbin’s really glad for that. He doesn’t have to talk at all, what more could you wish for?

 

“Why are you alone, anyway?” Jisung asks, curious. “I thought you didn’t like being alone.”

 

“I only said that the last time so you wouldn’t leave.” Minho smirks, confidently. Jisung’s cheeks turn rosy, and Changbin is instantly reminded by what Minho had said in the coffee shop. He must be really serious about liking Jisung. 

 

Putting Changbin’s awkwardness aside, Minho has been pretty friendly with him and he seems confident, so Changbin can only root for Minho and Jisung. 

 

“Anyways, Hyunjin is hanging out with this other fella and Felix.. Well, Felix is out with Chan.” Minho glances at Changbin, not even trying to hide the smugness.

 

Badum.

 

Changbin had no idea those two had started to hang out together.

 

“Well, they have a lot in common, don’t they.” Changbin smiles awkwardly. Can Minho hear the way his heart is beating out of his chest? Suddenly, he hates the fact that he is sitting so close to the latter. “Chan hyung is a nice guy.”

 

Jisung kicks him under the table and Minho leans back, laughing. “Yeah, atleast he isn’t afraid to text Felix.”

 

“Shut up,” Changbin grits through his teeth, toying with his hoodie’s strings nervously. He isn’t afraid, fuck this.

 

“Aw, don’t pout now, Binnie hyung.” Jisung fake-sulks, hooking his finger under Changbin’s chin. “You’ll still be able to see Felix’s beautiful smile, friends or not. Lovers or not. Just from afar, okay?"

 

Changbin pushes Jisung’s hand away and quickly pulls out his phone. “I’m gonna text him, okay. Happy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, so i know i made my posting day friday/saturday but ill be seriously ia this weekend so i sat down n did this??? hhhh  
> feedback would be appreciated and dont forget to take care of yourself <3


	4. Hi Hello

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Changbin says, his phone resting heavily on his open palm. “I should not have done that.”

 

“Are you gonna stop acting like a child?”

 

“And more importantly,” Minho coughs, to get their attention, “Did you just quote Harry Potter?”

 

“Minho hyung, in what world is that more important?” Jisung glares at Minho, the disbelief clear in his eyes.

 

“Do you have a problem with Harry Potter?” Minho asks, generally interested. “Because if you do, I can’t date you.”

 

“Who said anything about us dating?” Jisung scoffs, but his cheeks betray him, turning pink and Minho probably knows he’s got the other boy wrapped around his finger already.

 

“Can you two shut up?” Changbin says, groaning. “Why would you make me text Felix, if you knew he was never gonna text back?”

 

“Well, he is out with Chan after all.” Minho says. “Maybe his phone is just on mute.”

 

Oh. Right.

 

Chan.

 

“Good thing I don’t care.” Changbin tries to smile but fails badly, the corners of his mouth turning downwards.

 

For Changbin’s _luck_ , Jisung sees this, and the quick and sudden change in Jisung’s features is scary.

 

“Aw,” Jisung cooes at Changbin, “don’t pout now, Binnie hyung. Minho hyung will go buy you some dessert to make you feel better, okay?”

 

“I will?” Minho asks, confused.

 

“Yes, you will.” Jisung glares at Minho, until the latter gets up, groaning and heads in the direction of the cashier.

 

“You know he will text you back, right? Why else would he have left his number in your notes?” Jisung says, squeezing Changbin’s hand to comfort him.

 

“Ah.” Changbin sighs. “I feel like a dumb teenager.”

 

“Because you are.” Jisung laughs. The sound of his bestfriend laughing makes him feel better instantly. But when he hears the sound of a new received message, he yelps.

 

Like literally yelps.

 

“Oh my god, calm down. It’s just a message.” Jisung says, but he’s smiling too. “Open it.”

 

“I wonder what he said?” Changbin says, unlocking his phone. His hands are shaking with excitement and he can’t stop smiling.

 

**Felix**

 

Hey! I’m sorry but who’s this? :)

_19:48_

 

“He doesn’t know who I am?” Changbin half-screams, horrified.

 

“Well, of course you dumbass, how could he have your number?” Jisung says, shaking his head.

 

Well, Changbin hadn’t even thought about that. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but clearly not this.

 

“What am I gonna reply?” Changbin asks.

 

“Say it’s the nation’s dumbass.” Minho joins in. He’s back with a bowl of ice cream and a coffee. “This coffee is for me, by the way, don’t even try.”

 

“Or just say it’s Changbin.” Jisung says. “I thought sharing is caring, hyungie.”

 

“Lucky for you I care.” Minho places the coffee in front of Jisung and sits down. Jisung sends him a soft smile in return and Changbin wishes he never saw that.

 

**Me**

 

Oh, It’s Changbin

_19:51_

 

**Felix**

 

Finally omg ˇ~ˇ

_19:51_

 

“I like that he’s a fast replier, but Minho, does Felix always use these cringey emojis?” Changbin asks, feeling like he’s back in 2012.

 

“I’m honestly sorry about that.” Minho bows his head down dramatically. “Hyunjin and I have tried so hard, but he won’t stop.”

 

“This is worse than texting Chan hyung, I swear to god.”

 

**Me**

 

Sorry about the wait :(

_19:53_

 

Can I make it up to you somehow?

_19:53_

 

**Felix**

 

That’s okay, hyung :3

_19:53_

 

You could come over for a movie night? If you’re not busy, hyung.

_19:54_

 

“Why is he so damn cute?” Changbin says out loud, forgetting that he is surrounded by his biggest bullies.

 

“Changbin’s uwu mode activated.” Minho says, while Jisung acts like he is vomiting in the back.

 

“Shut up, you two are way worse than me.” Changbin scoffs and kicks Jisung’s leg under the table. “Anyways, you’re having a movie night?”

 

“Um, no, I don’t think so.” Minho says, before he digs into Changbin’s melting ice cream. Changbin would be mad at him if he didn’t have something much better waiting for him.

 

**Me**

 

Just the two of us?

_19:56_

 

**Felix**

 

I-if that’s fine with you, hyung

_19:57_

 

I would just really love to get to know you better

_19:57_

 

**Me**

 

Did you just stutter through text, Felix?

_19:57_

 

**Felix**

 

m-maybe

_19:58_

 

**Me**

 

I’ll be there in 20 mins.

_19:58_

  
  


Thirty minutes later an anxious Changbin is standing in front of Felix’s door, trying to gather some courage to finally knock on the door.

 

He regrets not going in with Minho before, but he had insisted to the latter that he needs to do something important at home before going over, and so Minho had went in without him and now Changbin gets to be anxious all alone.

 

He knows the longer he waits the more awkward it will get, but this situation is just so damn terrifying.

 

Like who’s gonna open the door? Will it be Minho? Or even worse, Hyunjin? And did Felix even tell Hyunjin that he is expecting a guest? Or what if Felix was just joking with him? Or even if he wasn’t, what if they have nothing to talk about? After all, it’s their first time hanging out.

 

But before Changbin can even react, the door in front of him opens.

 

“Hyung, how long have you been standing here?” Felix asks, worried. He’s wearing a pair of grey sweatpants yet he still looks so damn good. This is illegal.

 

“I-i just got here.” Changbin says, scratching his neck nervously.

 

“Oh, that’s good!” Felix smiles and grabs Changbin’s hand to pull him inside ( _Changbin dies a little inside)._ “I was starting to think you ditched on me.”

 

“How could I, Felix?” Changbin asks, blushing when Felix closes the door after them but doesn’t let go of Changbin’s hand.

 

“Ah, hyung, you flatter me.” He smiles. His eyes crinkle and the sight makes Changbin want to yell.

 

But this time he doesn’t. Instead he smiles, awkwardly, because that’s who he is after all, and squeezes Felix’s hand.

 

“Come on, I’ll show you around in our tiny-tiny dorm.” Felix says, and tugs Changbin forward.

 

Just maybe, Changbin could get used to holding Felix’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm SO happy to be back with an update!! from here it begins my loves, our changlix will RISE  
> i'd also want to thank you for leaving these sweet comments, i really dont deserve you all <3
> 
> take care and dont forget to join stray kids' stans selca day on twitter :)


	5. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fluff here n there n i finally tell yall abt felix's story hihi

When Felix is done showing Changbin around, he sits him down on the living room’s couch. Changbin didn’t expect that they’d watch the movie here, in the living room, considering that Minho and Hyunjin can just show up any minute, but maybe Felix really doesn’t care about that.

 

But it’s like Felix can sense Changbin’s uncomfortness. “I, huh, told hyungs to leave. Well no, not like that, but I just told them you’ll be coming over and.. yeah.”

 

“It’s so late, though.” Changbin smiles genuinely. Of course he doesn’t want to be a problem for Minho and Hyunjin, but being alone with Felix really calms his anxiety.

 

“It’s okay!” Felix reassures Changbin quickly. “They weren’t mad at all.”

 

“Well, that’s a good way for me to avert calamity.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean?” Felix asks, stressed. His face looks lost and somehow he looks even cuter this way.

 

“I’m just joking, Felix. I would be fine even if they were here.” Changbin says, surprised that the words are coming out of his mouth. “I want to get to know you all better.”

 

Felix smiles, and, fuck, forget everything Changbin said before. His lost face is cute, but this smile can heal hundreds. It’s easily Changbin’s favorite sight.

 

Felix doesn’t spend any more time and puts the movie on. They had agreed do not watch a scary movie, nor an action movie, because apparently Felix can’t sleep well after watching those. _CUTE_.

 

“We’re really gonna watch Toy Story, huh?” Changbin asks with disbelief, but he smiles when Felix sends him a death glare.

 

“Nothing’s wrong with Toy Story, hyung.” Felix says, and sits in the other corner of the couch. It’s a big couch, okay. Considering how it has to fit Hyunjin and hundred cushions. Who even needs that many pillows?

 

“I get that these pillows are comfortable, but why do you need eight pillows on one couch?” Changbin asks, too curious.

 

“So I can throw one your way when you aren’t focusing on the movie.” Felix says. He laughs when he sees Changbin raise his eyebrows at him. “I won’t do it right now because the movie just started, but if you don’t stop talking, I won’t hesitate.”

 

Changbin quickly raises his arms in defeat and leans back against the couch. Pissing off Felix is fun, but he also doesn’t want to come off annoying on their first hangout. So he keeps his comments to himself, and tries to glance around the room now and then without getting Felix’s attention.

 

It’s hard for him to focus on the movie when the one and only Lee Felix is sitting next to him, okay. Sue him.

 

At some point Felix lays fully down on the couch, his head coming to rest on Changbin’s side of the couch. The urge to touch his hair is killing Changbin, Felix’s hair really looks so soft, but he can’t. So he turns his eyes back on the tv and hopes the movie finishes soon.

 

“This movie is a masterpiece.” Felix says after a while, when the movie finally finishes. Changbin actually focused on the film, so he must’ve missed the moment when Felix decided to look like a little baby kitten and wrap a fuzzy blanket around his body.

 

“I-i, yeah.” Changbin says, only realising that he didn’t give a proper answer when he catches Felix’s confused look. “I mean, yeah it’s good, but I still prefer horror movies.” Damn Felix and his cute blanket, messing with Changbin’s head.

 

Felix leans back against the couch and turns his whole body so he is facing Changbin. “You know, maybe I could finally watch a horror movie with you by my side, hyung.”

 

“Is it because of my big guns? You think I’ll fight every monster and ghost for you?” Changbin asks, smiling. “Because I would.”

 

Felix blushes and looks down, obviously trying to get Changbin to turn his gaze away from him. Nice try, Felix, but it’s not happening.

 

“Well, no. I mean, yes, yes of course, your big guns, or whatever.” Felix quickly rushes when he sees Changbin pout at him. “But like, is it weird that I just feel safe around you? It’s weird, right. I’m weird.”

 

“It’s not weird, Felix.” Changbin wants to reassure the latter quickly. It’s not weird. He feels it too. “And what’s wrong with being weird? Chan hyung is super weird, and we still hang out with him.”

 

Felix laughs and looks straight into Changbin’s eyes. “Thank you, hyung.” The words seem so sincere, the way he says them so quietly, Changbin’s sure Felix has some problems with confidence. Or maybe he’s been hurt in the past.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Changbin says, his hand coming to rest on Felix’s. He squeezes it tightly, maybe this way his words will reach Felix better. Felix smiles at him, and Changbin can’t help but smile back.

 

“If we’re really doing this again, then you’re gonna come over to our place. I really don’t wanna bother Minho and Hyunjin again.” Changbin says, pulling back his hand like it might burn. It was a risky move to even do it in the first place. What if Felix had startled at Changbin’s touch?

 

“I said it’s okay, hyung-”

 

“I know, I know, but you have to understand me.” Changbin says, leaning back. “If Jisung would make me leave the dorm because he’s gonna have Minho over, I would tell him to choke and find a new dorm. No offence.”

 

“D-do you think he will do it though? Ask Minho out, I mean?” Felix asks, nervously.

 

“Why?” Changbin asks. “You wanna do it yourself?”

 

Felix tries to kick Changbin, but he must’ve forgotten that his whole body is wrapped in a blanket, because his leg just gets stuck half way. “Ugh, this blanket.”

 

“This blanket just saved my life, thank you very much.” Changbin says, laughing at Felix.

 

“Anyways, I _do not_ wanna ask him out. I just want to know if Jisung is as serious about Minho as Minho is about him.” Felix talks, the concern clearly hearable in his voice. “I’ve been with Minho hyung for a long time and I care about him a lot. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

 

_What an angel._

 

“Jisung would never hurt Minho, I promise. Jisung is the sweetest person I know, really.” Changbin says, understanding Felix’s concern fully. He cares about Jisung just as much.

 

Felix just nods in return and gives him a small smile. It’s adorable.

 

“Minho hyung is the reason I’m here. He made us take part in a dance competition in school, and it was just our luck that JYPE was looking for more trainees. We won the competition and we had no idea that JYPE considered that win as an audition. They literally just told us that you’ve been scouted for JYP Entertainment and that’s all.” Felix talks. Changbin had been curious about how they ended up here since the moment he saw Felix practicing his dancing alone.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Changbin says honestly.

 

“But I don’t think we will ever debut.” Felix mumbles, more quiet this time. “We are not trained like you, Chan and Jisung. You guys can all sing, dance and of course, rap, but we’re just dancers.”

 

“Hey, don’t say that, please. You shouldn’t feel this way.” Changbin says, even though he understands the latter’s feelings. The pain he and his best friends have been through in the past five years is crazy. But it has made them stronger. “We’ve tried to debut as 3RACHA for so long, but it takes time, Felix. If one of us gives up now, it’s over for good.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry.” Felix apologises. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

“No one here understands you better than us, so just know we’re here to hear you out, always.” Changbin says and pats Felix on the knee, trying to comfort the latter atleast a little bit. This business is tough, he knows it damn well. And Felix is so young, he just wants to protect the latter from everything bad.

 

What Changbin also knows is that if he had had someone taking care of him, telling him it will get easier, he wouldn’t have been so depressed before meeting Chan and Jisung. So that’s why he’s gonna try his hardest to be there for Felix now.

 

“Thank you for a good night, hyung. I really feel at ease with you.” Felix says. Changbin feels his heart flutter, but he doesn’t pay it any attention.

 

“Me too, Lix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments!! i really appreciate every bit of feedback :)  
> im on my summer break now, so prepare for more quality updates


	6. I'll Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil longer chap for you lovelies bc i didnt post last week :( do enjoy

Changbin hardly got any sleep that night. Everything that Felix had said kept rushing back to Changbin’s head, the memories of Felix wrapped in that blanket, shoulders hunched as he told Changbin about his biggest insecurities.

 

Maybe he’s overthinking this, but he really is scared for Felix. He hasn’t even known Felix for so long, but he already cares about the other way too much. And after yesterday, he feels like he needs to be there for Felix.

 

But how to help someone when you don’t even know how to help yourself?

 

His distress must be so obvious, because the second Chan steps into the kitchen, he’s already squeezing Changbin’s shoulders comfortingly. He always does it so gently and caringly, exactly how Changbin needs it.

 

“Are you okay, Bin? You look tired.” Chan says, leaning over Changbin’s shoulder and examining him closely. Changbin isn’t bothered by the fact that Chan’s face is so close, in fact, he finds it really comforting how Chan is always so touchy with him. It’s familiar.

 

He relaxes his shoulders and let’s Chan massage them, while he leans his head on the cold kitchen table. “I’m really worried for Felix. Chan hyung, you have no idea what he told me yesterday.” Changbin mumbles, his cheek pressed against the table.

 

“Oh, I thought you two had fun?” Chan asks, walking away from Changbin and sitting across him. Changbin feels like whining at the loss of physical contact. He’s really in _that_ mood.

 

“We did, hyung, we really did. But then the movie was over and Felix got all serious. And seriously, I’m so glad he trusts me with his feelings, but now I’m worried and I need to help him.” Changbin says, thinking about Felix’s big smile and adorable freckles.

 

“What’s worrying him?” Chan asks, folding his arms on the table in front of them. Changbin notices that instead of wearing his usual black hoodie, Chan is dressed into a pretty formal sweater. He makes a mental note to ask about it later.

 

“Felix is already thinking that he’s never going to be able to debut. And you know that’s so bad for him. These thoughts keep him from showing his best qualities. I really need to make him realise that he shouldn’t worry so much, and instead should wake up every day feeling inspired to work on the things he’s lacking in.” Changbin tells Chan. Chan smiles at him softly, but Changbin doesn’t bother to ask why.

 

“How do I inspire him to train instead so I get his mind off those negative thoughts? They really do him no good.”

 

Chan doesn’t say anything for a while, because he always chooses his words carefully when he gives Jisung or him advice. Changbin envies Chan in so many ways.

 

“Bin, you need to realise that this is all new for Felix. It’s unfamiliar and scary. You know exactly how bad it was for you in the beginning. So yeah, I understand why you’re worried, but instead of sitting here, you could really put this time into helping him and taking care of him. Make sure he doesn’t waste his time here, but also that he doesn’t end up pushing his limits too hard. Like you could sometimes take him out to the movies, but also help him improve his rap skills. You understand what I’m implying at, right?”

 

“I do, I really do.” Changbin already feels lighter after hearing Chan’s advice. He understands that now it’s his time to guide someone and help them to settle into this kinda business.

 

Chan stands up and makes his way back to Changbin, leaving a butterfly kiss on his head. “You’re a good person, Binnie. You and Jisung should do something fun tonight, since I won’t be back until midnight probably. Try to relax your mind.” He says, walking away.

 

“Where are you going? And why are you wearing a sweater?” Changbin turns around, getting a last glimpse of Chan before the latter rushes out of the kitchen.

 

“I’ll tell you later.” He calls from the hallway, before Changbin hears the front door open and close. This is weird.

  
  
  
  
  


Chan’s words sticked with Changbin the whole day, even if he was finishing his afternoon dance class, he still couldn’t stop thinking about what the latter had said.

 

When he makes it back to the dorm, he finally has a little plan forming for the night.

 

“Sungie? Jisungie?” He calls for the other boy, taking his shoes off in the lobby. He walks to the living room, surprised when he doesn’t find Jisung alone.

 

“Hi, Changbin.” Minho says, sweetly. He has an all knowing smile on his lips, and it bothers Changbin a lot.

 

“Hyung, hi.” Jisung says, his mouth full of cheetos.

 

“Don’t speak when your mouth is full of food. Seriously, you’re disgusting.” Changbin says, choosing to sit down next to Minho on the couch. Even if the latter looks like he knows about every single thing he and Felix did yesterday, he still prefers it over Jisung and his smelly bag of cheetos.

 

“Nah, I find it cute.” Minho says, leaning closer to Jisung and pinching his cheek. “He looks like a baby squirrel.”

 

Disgusting.

 

“Hyung, stop.” Jisung says, pushing Minho’s hand away playfully, a smile tugging on his lips. Minho smiles back at him and decides to feed Jisung more chips.

 

Their flirting made Changbin forget why he even came home in the first place.

 

“So, um, anyways, what are you guys doing tonight?” Changbin asks, kind of nervous. He needs them to be free and willing to go out with him. “Aside from flirting and making googly eyes at each other, of course.”

 

Jisung huffs in reply, but his mouth is too full of cheetos to say anything, (thank you, Minho) so he settles with a glare that’s targeted right at Changbin.

 

“You wanna go out with us?” Minho asks, teasingly. “We really are your only friends, huh.”

 

“Wow, I can just go with Felix if you’re gonna be a dumbass about it.” Changbin says, folding his arms on his chest.

 

“Yeah, sure, you’re gonna take Felix out on a date. Like that would ever happen.”

 

Changbin is ready to fight back when he hears the front door open. It can’t be Chan, yet. Right?

 

He doesn’t expect the lanky roommate of Minho and Felix to walk into their dorm and fall into Minho’s open arms without even greeting anyone.

 

“Is this your home now, too?” Changbin asks. Hyunjin didn’t even knock on the door. Wow, the manners.

 

“Shut up. I’ve been looking for you, Minho.” Hyunjin mumbles against Minho’s shirt, his face pressed against the latter’s chest. Minho laughs, who knows why, and starts guiding his hand through Hyunjin’s hair.

 

“What’s wrong, baby? Did you miss me?” Minho smiles down at Hyunjin. Changbin didn’t miss Jisung’s _pained?_ reaction when Minho called Hyunjin by that pet name. But Changbin knows they’re weirdly close, and he expects Jisung to know it too. So why is Jisung getting jealous over Hyunjin?

 

“Bin, what were you saying before Hyunjin interrupted impolitely?” Jisung barks, his voice clearly filled with annoyance. Changbin doesn’t like this. Not at all.

 

“Wow, attitude.” Hyunjin looks at Jisung, while Minho raises his brows in disbelief. The second Jisung catches Minho’s eyes, he looks down, embarrassed.

 

“Sorry.” He whispers, toying with the sleeve of his hoodie. It's like Changbin is the only one that remembers the two flirting not so long ago.

 

“Uh, I was thinking we could all catch a movie tonight?” Changbin says, the awkward silence killing him inside.

 

“What movie were you thinking?” Minho asks, his fingers still tangled in Hyunjin’s hair. Seems like Jisung won’t get his way with Minho that easily.

 

“Hereditary. It’s some new horror movie.” He explains quickly.

 

“But Felix doesn’t watch horror movies.” Hyunjin says, now looking at Changbin. He looks kind of accusing, like Changbin was supposed to know that already.

 

“Well, Lix said he would watch one with me, so..” Changbin scratches the back of his neck nervously, waiting for the others reactions. Bad habits.

 

“Aw, baby Changbin is blushing.” Minho cooes at Changbin. “Fine, we’ll go get ready and bring Felix with us.”

  
  
  


“I can’t believe I was finally ready to watch a horror movie and it ended up being this bad.” Felix laughs next to Changbin. They’re finally out of the cinema and it’s already dark outside. Changbin already got roasted by everyone for this bad choice of a movie, like it’s his fault that the director of the movie sucked.

 

“I’m so sorry, Lix, I had no idea this movie was gonna be so lame.” Changbin apologises sincerely.

 

“It’s okay, hyung. I had fun anyway. I really needed to do something out of my comfort zone.” Felix says, smiling at Changbin.

 

Jisung, Minho and Hyunjin are all walking a little ahead of them, talking and laughing. Even if it’s dark, Changbin doesn’t miss Jisung’s and Minho’s intertwined fingers. “I’m glad they made up.”

 

“Minho hyung and Jisung? What do you mean made up?” Felix asks, curious. Both of their eyes are locked on Jisung’s and Minho’s hands. The way they’re holding hands seems so gentle and innocent, like they want to keep it just between the two of them. Changbin can’t help but smile.

 

“Jisung got a little bit jealous before, nothing else.” Changbin assures Felix. He feels happy and at ease, his mind empty. He doesn’t think about the upcoming showcases or those horrible classes he has tomorrow. He just hopes Felix feels the same way right now.

 

“I understand Jisung perfectly, Minho can be very touchy.” Felix says. “I’d be jealous too if he.. um.. yeah..” Felix blushes and looks left, away from Changbin.

 

“You’d be jealous if he what?” Changbin asks, teasing. He bumps his shoulder against Felix’s gently. Where is this confidence suddenly coming from?

 

“Oh, look, we’re almost home.” Felix exclaims happily, his cheeks still red. He's really not that good at changing the subject.

 

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me.” Changbin says, shrugging. He’s still walking when a hand comes to stop him. He turns around, facing Felix. The streetlights are shining on his freckles and he looks beautiful. And even if he’s wearing a plain hoodie, he still manages to look so stunning.

 

“I-i just wanted to thank you for tonight.” Felix says, his cheeks turning red already. “I had so much fun, hyung.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me, I like being with you.” Changbin says, honestly. He hasn’t met anyone this down to earth and humble in so long. He’s incredibly lucky.

 

“So you would go out with me? I-i mean, go out again? T-to the movies?” Felix mumbles, looking down. He gets embarrassed so easily, and Changbin can’t help but find it cute.

 

“Of course, Lix. Even if you dropped your popcorn and screamed out loud twice, I would.” Changbin laughs.

 

“You heard that?” Felix asks. “Shit, I was praying that no one heard me. Those jumpscreens really got me, okay.”

 

“I think everyone in that cinema heard you.” Changbin’s still smiling, thinking back. He feels someone staring at them, realising that Jisung, Minho and Hyunjin must be waiting for them to go inside together.

 

“We should go, Lix. The others are waiting for us.” Changbin’s about to turn around when Felix wraps his arms around his shoulders quickly, giving him a tight hug. It’s the first time they’re hugging and Changbin finds himself thinking that he doesn’t wanna let go.

 

But Felix let’s go too quickly, and without even looking at him, he pushes past Changbin and starts walking at a furious speed. “Let’s go, hyung.”

 

Oh, Felix and his damn shyness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY SOME CHANGLIX AND MINSUNG FLUFF I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT  
> also looking for people to talk about day6's comeback and chan's curls so pls hit me up on twt!!!!  
> thank you for the feedback and have a great day <3


	7. Feeling Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hated this chapter so much i rewrote it twice wow :-)

Changbin lowers his snapback and tightens the grip on the heavy bag in his left hand. Even if it’s just full of snacks, it’s tiring to hold it. “I don’t understand why I said yes to this.”

 

“It was literally your idea, Bin hyung.” Jisung says, not letting Changbin’s whining ruin his mood. “And, not gonna lie, I’m kind of excited to hang out with everyone. The six of us have never chilled together.”

 

“That’s because I actually do extra practice. Sorry I don’t have time to spend all my nights cuddling with Minho.” Chan snaps at Jisung, but his tone is lighthearted. Chan is also wearing a bag in his hands, full of different candy and food. Because, without food, Changbin would definitely not survive this picnic _date_.

 

“I d-do not cuddle with Minho hyung!” Jisung sputters, but with the sun setting and the warm sunlight glowing on Jisung’s face, Changbin can easily see the latter’s blushing cheeks.

 

“And we pray you don’t do it tonight by the Han River either. It’s romantic, but you know, we only brought one blanket. You have to be considerate of your hyungs.” Changbin says, accepting the death glare Jisung sends his way with a smile on his lips.

 

“For all I care, you could dig a hole and sit there.” Jisung huffs, clearly offended by his friends’ teasing.

 

“We’re just joking, Sungie. You can do whatever you want with Minho, you know we’ll always support you.” Chan rests his free arm around Jisung’s shoulders and holds him close.

 

Changbin’s about to reply when he hears someone call them from behind. They all stop walking and turn around, seeing the other three figures getting closer. “Oh, they’re already here.” Changbin says, feeling the anxious little twirl in his stomach. After that hug, he and Felix haven’t seen each other, so of course he is excited to see the latter.

 

“Hey, gays.” Hyunjin yells and waves at them, earning a loud laugh from Minho and Felix. Oh, how Changbin missed hearing Felix’s angelic laugh.

 

They all greet each other and start walking together to their destination.

 

Changbin and Felix fall behind again from others, maybe purposely walking slower to at least have some private conversation. Or maybe he’s reading too much into it and Felix is just a slow walker.

 

“Hi, Binnie hyung.” Felix smiles at him sweetly and nudges Changbin’s shoulder with his, just like Changbin had done to him the other day.

 

“Lix.” Changbin greets back with a tiny smile, loss at words by Felix’s action. Felix adds a nice ring to Changbin’s nickname every time he says it, Changbin actually wishes he could change it to his morning alarm. If it weren’t so creepy.

 

“I’m glad you invited us all out. It’s gonna be so fun hanging out together.” Felix says, looking ahead. “You guys must be busy with 3RACHA stuff, but you still hang out with us so thank you.”

 

“It’s important to rest and have fun between practice, Felix. And we’ll always make time for you guys, don’t worry.” Changbin says, words sincere. He had promised Chan to take care of the latter, and he keeps his promises. “And about 3RACHA, I don’t recall us having any official activities. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up waiting for so long they will make us debut as 6RACHA instead.”

 

They both laugh, but the more Changbin thinks about it, the more he likes the idea. The thought of debuting with more people. With Felix. And yes, even with his bitchy model friends, Minho and Hyunjin, who aren’t actually that bitchy. They would be like an actual boy group, how cool is that?

 

Changbin’s big dreaming is interrupted when Felix puts his hand on Changbin’s shoulder and stops him from walking any further. “We are here, hyung.”

 

“Oh.” Already? Changbin hadn’t even realised. “Finally. That walk took forever.” He lies instead.

 

Felix goes to sit next to Minho and Hyunjin, while Changbin settles down next to Chan and Jisung. The air has definitely gotten colder, with the sun setting and the night getting a bit darker, but it’s still bearable.

 

“We should have brought more blankets.” Jisung says, scooting closer to Chan and pulling his hood on. Chan accepts him with open arms, letting the younger nuzzle closer to him. Human pillow, he is.

 

“Don’t be such a whiny baby.” Minho grumbles, and he throws Jisung a weird look, before he digs into the snack bag.

 

“I’m not a whiny baby.” Jisung, quite literally, whines. Changbin watches the whole interaction with amusement, Jisung yet oblivious to Minho’s jealousy.

 

“I’ve known you for three years, Sungie, I think I’m right when I say you’re the biggest baby.” Chan cooes adoringly, holding Jisung close.

 

“Of course _you_ know the best.” Minho mutters. Changbin raises a questioning brow at Felix, but the latter just shrugs in return. You’d think Felix would be used to Minho’s mood changes, but I guess not. Maybe he’s just very mysterious.

 

Jisung pouts at Minho, but Minho just rolls his eyes at him.

 

Seems like Hyunjin doesn’t let it bother him, though, because a second later he’s already tossing his arms around Felix and making a huge scene.

 

“So,” He whirs sweetly. “What did you and Changbin hyung talk about? You think we didn’t notice you two falling behind?”

 

Changbin laughs like a panicked gay he is, but stops the second Hyunjin turns to him with a waiting look.

 

“W-we just talked about practice.” Changbin says. It’s half the truth anyway. “Nothing else.”

 

“You were only together for two minutes and you already started talking about practice? I can’t believe the both of you.” Chan says, shaking his head.

 

“How boring.” Hyunjin says, letting go of Felix. “I was ready for some hot gossip.”

 

Felix smiles at Changbin, before he turns to his friend. “Life isn’t about gossip, Hyunjin hyung. The same goes for you, Min hyung.”

 

“What did I do?” Minho asks, focusing his gaze from the bag of chips to Felix. He must be doing his hardest to ignore the cuddling Chan and Jisung. Changbin would feel sorry for him, but Chan is literally their _papa_ , like Chan likes to call himself, so Changbin doesn’t understand his jealousy.

 

They fall into an easy banter, arguing about who really ruined Hyunjin, while the other four laugh. It’s easy to be around them, and Changbin feels happy. Maybe he has finally made new friends and he doesn’t regret it one bit.

  
  


After an hour passes of eating and just joking around, it’s already completely dark outside. Minho brings his knees to his chest and hugs them close, trying to keep himself warm in the chilly spring air. Felix mimics his moves, and Changbin feels really bad for them. He would give his hoodie to Felix but his friends would never stop making fun of him after that. _Domestic boyfriend goals._

 

“I told you to wear warm clothes.” Jisung huffs, obviously worried about the others.

 

“I am wearing warm clothes, though.” Minho snaps back. “You must’ve been busy with cuddling everyone, so if you haven’t noticed, it’s already dark outside and that's why it's freezing as fuck.”

 

“I just don’t want you to get sick.” Jisung says, his voice calm. Everyone watches their interaction quietly, knowing it's better not to interrupt them right now.

 

“If I want to get sick, then you’re no one to stop me.” Minho says, annoyed. And this moodyness is all just because he is jealous? Wow.

 

“That’s enough. You’ve been snapping at me the whole night even if I’ve done nothing wrong.” Jisung says, and stands up. It looks like the latter is gonna start a fight with Minho when he walks over to him, but he just grabs Minho’s hand and pulls him up with him. He tugs him away from the others without any words, and Minho doesn’t complain either.

 

“W-wait, where are they going?” Changbin’s about to stand up but Felix is a step ahead of him. He sits over to Changbin’s side and holds him back.

 

“Let them talk. Minho needs to be honest with Jisung.” Felix says, resting his hand on Changbin’s thigh.

 

“Yeah, he can just be a very jealous person at times, but I’m sure they’ll get over it.” Hyunjin assures them.

 

“Wait, he was jealous because of me?” Chan asks, disbelief clear in his voice. “I literally gave birth to Jisung. How could I even think about liking my own son?”

 

“Oh my god, shut up, you didn’t give birth to him.” Changbin says, hiding his face. He hears Hyunjin and Felix laugh, and he’s instantly reminded by the hand resting on his thigh.

 

“M-maybe we should pack up? Don’t want anyone to get sick.” He pushes himself up suddenly, Felix’s hand falling down. He faces Felix and when he finds the latter look at him with confused eyes, he understands that Felix may think he was running from his touch. 

 

But that’s not true at all.

 

“Come on.” Changbin says boldly, and gives his hand to Felix, intertwining their fingers and dragging him up. Felix smiles at him, reassured by Changbin’s actions and they all start packing up in silence.

 

“Should we call for them? Or just leave without them?” Chan asks, after they are all done packing up.

 

“I’ll message Minho. I think it will be good for them to have some alone time.” Hyunjin smirks.

 

They walk home all side by side, mostly in a comfortable silence. It’s obvious they are all tired because of the long, yet fun night.

 

When they make it to the apartment complex, Felix is quite literally shivering.

 

“Are you okay? Do you want my hoodie?” Changbin asks, worried. He’d rather let the others tease him than let Felix catch a cold.

 

Felix smiles at him, his lips kinda blue-ish. “I’m okay, B-Bin hyung. W-we are home, anyway.” That doesn’t assure Changbin at all, but he drops the subject, in fear of being too pushy.

 

When they make it to Felix’s and Hyunjin’s door, they all stop walking.

 

“Today was really fun. Even though Minho is a jealous bitch and it got so cold outside.” Hyunjin says, smiling. “Let’s do that again, okay.”

 

Changbin nods and Chan pats Hyunjin on the back before they start walking to their own dorm. Changbin throws a last glance at Felix, and smiles when he finds the younger looking right back at him.

 

“Good night.” He mouths to Felix, earning that beautiful smile in return.

  


**Jisung dumbass**

 

ihmyfod

_22:34_

 

aftr u left

_22:34_

 

minhohyufnf kissedme

_22:34_

 

**Me**

 

COME HOME RN

_22:35_

 

CHAN AND I ARE WAITING

_22:35_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil spoiler but get ready for clingy 2lee in next chapter!!  
> take care <3


	8. Baby, it's okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sick 2lee in the house

“Changbin, wake up!” Jisung whispers furiously, trying his best to shake the latter out of his deep sleep.

 

Changbin seriously thinks about faking his own death, just to get some more sleep. But he loses his chance when Jisung sees him peek through his eyelashes slightly.

 

“I know you’re awake, Bin. Now get up, please.”

 

“Jisung, what the fuck? It’s literally midnight.” Changbin mutters, obviously annoyed by his roommate.

 

Jisung stands up and walks to the window, pulling up the blindfolds. This drags a furious sigh out of Changbin’s mouth, the latter suddenly blinded by the bright sunlight.

 

_But why is this already reminding me of Felix’s blinding smile?_

 

“Okay, you proved your point, asshat. What do you want?” Changbin asks, which to Jisung laughs loudly before kneeling back down next to Changbin’s bed.

 

“Hyunjin called me. He needs our help.”

 

“Oh, hell nah.” Changbin laughs. “Good prank, Sungie. You really got me.”

 

“Um,” Jisung lets out a long breath, his eyes travelling away from Changbin’s tired face.

 

“Oh, wait. You’re serious?” Changbin asks, disbelief clear in his voice. “Well, then tell him to fuck off.” Changbin pulls the covers over his head and turns his back on Jisung. What a funny guy that Hyunjin is.

 

“Bin, please. Hyunjin insisted that you must _definitely_ help too.” Jisung pleads, hitting Changbin’s back lightly. “Let’s just go over to their place quickly, and we’ll be back in a matter of seconds.”

 

“Jesus christ, fine.” Changbin sighs, getting out of his comfy, warm bed. He knows Jisung wouldn’t give up, anyway.

 

He’s too sleep deprived to care about his looks or the old sweatpants he’s leaving their apartment in. Biggest compassion to those who have to see Changbin like this.

 

“I’m sure Hyunjin has a good reason for this.” Jisung tries to assure Changbin with a smile, before he knocks on the other’s front door.

 

Changbin doesn’t except Felix to open the door. He also doesn’t except the latter to look pale and sick, and to have three fuzzy blankets pulled around his shoulders.

 

“Oh my god, are you sick?” Jisung asks, Changbin too worried to get any words out of his mouth. Felix has dark circles under his eyes and even his skin has stopped glowing.

 

“Is that Jisung? Don’t let him in!” Changbin hears Minho yell from inside the apartment, before Minho starts coughing loudly.

 

But before Felix can even think about stopping Jisung, the latter is already pushing past Felix furiously. Changbin and Felix follow after him quickly, ready to hold Jisung back.

 

“What, Minho hyung? What am I seeing here?” Jisung asks, radiating worry and madness. “Did I not tell you that you’ll get sick? Did I not?”

 

Minho looks visibly smaller and apologetic while he’s getting scolded by the younger. He has buried himself under many layers in the furthest corner on their living room’s couch, hundred tissues spread around him.

 

“Jisung, please. He’s not dying.” Changbin tries to calm his friend down and put some sense into him. Changbin guides the younger to also sit down on the couch, but just in case a little further away from Minho.

 

“But, if we hadn’t stayed out late yesterday, I wouldn’t had gotten the chance to kiss you, so there’s that.” Minho spits out, confidently. It’s amazing how quickly he regains his confidence to tease Jisung, when he’s the one who got sick.

 

Jisung gasps and blushes hard, while Minho enjoys his reaction with a smirk on his face. “Don’t talk about that here!”

 

“You’re really gonna act like you didn’t tell Chan hyung and Changbin? Please, even I told Felix and Hyunjin.” Minho says, pulling the blanket tightly around his shoulders.

 

“I didn’t-” Jisung huffs, but Changbin stops him.

 

“Talking about Hyunjin,” He says loudly, trying to change the subject. “Where is he? What does he want from us?”

 

Everybody turns their attention to him, like they’re suddenly realising that Changbin is also in that room with them. “Does he expect us to take care of you guys?”

 

Changbin wouldn’t really mind making Felix some hot soup and tea, even if it’s eight in the morning. Felix has him wrapped around his finger, at least that Changbin can admit.

 

“I wouldn’t mind some warm cuddles and kisses from my Sungie. If he could just look at me without getting mad and yelling at me.” Minho says, Jisung and Changbin both sending him annoyed looks in return. But Jisung’s cheeks are still flashing red, and Changbin knows Jisung would definitely not mind that either.

 

“Hyung, you really don’t have to.” Felix rushes up, smiling to show Changbin that he’s fine. But Changbin knows he isn’t. “Hyunjin just left for a morning class, we’ll be fine.”

 

“We’ll stay here until Hyunjin comes back, okay?” Changbin says, ignoring Felix. “Me and Jisung will make you some soup, so please rest.”

 

“Can’t you do it alone? I want Jisung here with me.” Minho whines. He pouts even harder when Jisung laughs at him.

 

“You don’t get me anymore, hyung. You got sick because you didn't listen and now you must suffer.” Jisung says, before he turns his back on them and walks into the kitchen.

 

“He’ll calm down soon, I promise.” Changbin apologises for Jisung's actions, but he also understands Jisung’s worry. Missing practice in their case isn’t great, but their health is even more important. “Now you two go to bed or I’ll kick your asses myself.”

  
  
  


At some point Changbin realises that Jisung has sneaked out of the kitchen, probably to cuddle with Minho, but the older doesn’t mind. He knows Jisung cares a lot about Minho and he wants to be with him, even if his sick and coughing like a dying whale. Teenagers these days...

 

Cooking without Jisung is easier, anyway. Jisung can’t even make a sandwich, so in the end Changbin has to do all of the work alone.

 

“Hyung,” Felix walks into the kitchen, whining. He has gotten rid of all the blankets that were covering him before, and now he’s just dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants. “I can’t sleep anymore. And I’m bored alone. Minho and Jisung are all busy in Minho’s room.” Felix sighs, walking closer to Changbin.

 

He doesn’t sit down on the kitchen stool nor does he stop in front of the hot stove to taste the chicken soup. Instead, he keeps walking until he’s standing right behind Changbin, who’s just in the middle of preparing some hot tea.

 

Changbin feels Felix’s arms around his waist before he hears him talk. “Is this fine?” Felix asks quietly next to Changbin’s ear. He leans his head on Changbin’s shoulders and relaxes against him, his breath tingling on Changbin’s neck.

 

“I-it’s okay, Lix. You must be tired.” Changbin says, calmly, but his insides are quite literally yelling.

 

All this medicine must’ve made him clingy and touchy, that's the only solution. But Changbin’s glad.

 

It’s kind of hard to brew tea while someone’s glued to your back, but he makes it work. Felix is warm against him and the way he keeps talking softly next to Changbin’s ear sends shivers down his whole body. Changbin wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

_Thank you, Hyunjin, for leaving. And thank you, Jisung, for waking me up. This has to be the best day of my entire fucking life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this chapter came a little earlier but i'll be busy this weekend :( i hope you enjoyed nonetheless and dont forget to leave some feedback in the comments/my curious cat


	9. Say Wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MISSED AN UPDATE AGAIN IM SOWWY

“Binnie hyung, I have a question.” Felix speaks up suddenly, Changbin turning his attention slowly from the random tv-show they were watching to the younger. Watching tv together is so much better than watching it alone, even if a boring show is on.

 

“Yeah, what is it?” He motions for the younger to continue, interested.

 

“Well, it’s more like a request actually. I’m kind of stuck on writing this one song, and I’d really appreciate if you went over it? Or, just told me what’s so bad about it that I can’t even find the inspiration to continue it.” Felix rambles, his eyes never leaving Changbin’s.

 

“Hey, don’t say that. I’m sure it’s not bad.” Changbin assures Felix. He knows Felix needs to be comforted and praised often, and he actually doesn’t mind doing that anyway. And Felix really is a good writer, he’s come a long way in these few months. “But yeah, I don’t mind helping you out. Even though, I don’t understand why you would ask me if you could ask Chan hyung instead.”

 

“I-I guess I just like your style m-more,” Felix blushes, looking away for a second. He turns his gaze back slowly, cheeks still warm. “So is that a yes?”

 

“Of course, Lix.” Changbin smiles at the younger. Felix thanks him hundred times before he finally jumps off the couch and runs to get his notebook from his bedroom. Now that Changbin is more used to hanging around at Felix’s, Minho’s and Hyunjin’s dorm, they hardly chill at the older’s own dorm. Particularly because they don’t wanna bother Chan hyung and Jisung, but also because Felix’s couch is just so much more comfortable.

 

That night they spend hours at working on music together. They go through everything that Felix has already written down, and Changbin is more than impressed. And not only because he is whipped for Felix, like others remind him all the time. He really thinks Felix is talented.

 

But also Felix is eager to learn, and so Changbin shares all of his comments and thoughts, the younger thankful for his honesty and extras.

 

“You really are so amazing, Bin hyung. Thank you for helping me.” Felix shows his biggest smile, the one Changbin adores the most, and nudges him with his elbow. “You really didn’t have to waste so much time on me.”

 

“It’s my pleasure, really. I didn’t know you were so good at writing lyrics. Even Jisung could learn a thing or two from you.” Changbin says, and he smiles when he hears Felix laugh wholeheartedly. “I like how you added some lyrics in English, it’s really cool and gives a different vibe. So not only are you a remarkable dancer, but also a genius lyricist.”

 

“That’s probably why JYP doesn’t let us debut together, you’re just too good for 3RACHA.” Changbin continues, watching Felix’s cheeks go rosy at his words.

 

“Please, hyung.” Felix whines, embarrassed at Changbin’s praise. He tucks his head lower, and maybe it’s Changbin’s tiredness kicking in that makes him more bold, but he grabs the younger’s chin gently and makes Felix face him again. He hadn’t realised their faces would be so close, now Changbin could even count all the freckles on Felix’s cheeks and on the tip of his nose.

 

Oh, how he loves those freckles.

 

“I-It’s late, hyung. D-Do you wanna stay o-over? I-I’ll go grab you a blanket.” Felix sputters, his voice breathy, and before Changbin can even think of replying anything, the boy is already out of his reach, storming out of the living room and grabbing his notebooks quickly while at it.

 

That night, Changbin falls asleep on that same living room couch, his mind filled with the boy sleeping behind that closed door, his freckles, and all of the what-if’s.

  
  


He’s half asleep when he starts hearing two people whispering close to him, but he’s just too tired to open his eyes.

 

“Why is he sleeping here?” He hears Minho ask.

 

“I don’t know, but he looks like a baby when he sleeps like this.” Jisung says quietly, and Changbin isn’t even surprised to hear his voice. If Minho goes somewhere, then Jisung will most definitely be there too.

 

“Don’t baby him.” Changbin can literally hear the pout in Minho's voice. “I’m your only baby.”

 

Changbin huffs at that, annoyed by the two. “Can you please stay away from me with your flirting? I just wanna sleep in peace.”

 

He rolls over to face the two that are both staring down at him, like they’ve never seen a man sleep before.

 

“You’re the one sleeping on my couch and interrupting my cuddling time with Sungie.” Minho snaps at him. “Does Felix not want you in his room? How sad and pathetic.”

 

“Hyung, shut up.” Jisung elbows Minho in the ribs gently and he laughs when Minho starts whining overdramatically.

 

“We wouldn’t interrupt your sleeping, we know you and Lix were up late doing _stuff_ , but Chan hyung told us to gather around because apparently he has some huge news.” Jisung continues, grabbing Minho’s hand to pull him down with him on the other side of the couch. Changbin sits up too, Jisung’s words making him remember everything that had happened the day before.

 

He would’ve almost kissed Felix, and he doesn’t even know if the younger likes him in that way. If this is how he ruined their friendship, he will never ever forgive himself.

 

“What’s the time, anyway? I have a class later.” Changbin tries to get his mind off Felix by changing the subject. It doesn’t go that well, though.

 

“It’s like 10 in the morning. But Chan hyung promised to get here quickly.” Jisung says, looking at Changbin for a second before his attention falls back on Minho.

 

Another five minutes of Minho and Jisung sweet talking grossly, while Changbin just sits awkwardly pass, before Felix gets out of his room, hair all mussed up and eyes still half closed.

 

“Channie hyung just called me. What’s wrong?” Felix says, confused. His voice is ten times lower and it sends chills down Changbin’s spine. He thinks the younger must be so tired that he has forgot all about last night when he decides to sit down exactly next to Changbin, so close that their shoulders are almost bumping.

 

“Chan apparently has some news that are supposed to make us all _very_ happy.” Minho mutters. “I seriously doubt that, but whatever.”

 

Jisung slaps a hand over Minho’s mouth and smiles at Changbin and Felix cheekily. “He’s still petty, please don’t mind him.”

 

Felix laughs, like he laughs at almost everything, and then turns his gaze to Changbin. He’s so close again, Changbin feels himself forgetting how to breathe.

 

“How did you sleep, hyung? Are you very tired?” He asks, quietly, worry seeable in his eyes. “I know you have a class later, so I’m very sorry for keeping you up so late.”

 

Changbin’s not sure if he’s happy or sad that Felix is trying to avoid the awkward _we-could’ve-almost-kissed_ moment that happened yesterday, so he just goes along with the conversation. “I’m okay, Lixie, don’t worry. I really loved working with you yesterday, we definitely need to do that again.”

 

Felix smiles and squeezes Changbin’s arm regardfully with his tiny baby hands. Yes, absolutely everything about Felix is adorable. Especially his small fingers.

 

“Thanks for yesterday, I really appreciate it so much.” Felix says again, ignoring Minho’s _“what the heck are they talking about?”_. “We make a really good team, hyung.”

 

“We do.” Changbin says, patting the younger on his thigh. He’s happy that nothing has changed between them and Felix is still the same with him. He doesn’t need to have an awkward relationship with a potential future group mate.

 

A man is allowed to dream, right.

 

“We’re here!” They hear the front door open before Hyunjin yells from the hallway and he and Chan jog to the living room, both kind of panting. “You guys just won’t believe this.”

 

“Hey! Why did Hyunjin get to hear the news before we do? He literally stinks.” Minho starts questioning Chan, making Felix and Jisung laugh.

 

“I don’t think he does.” Chan says, confused. “Anyways, could you please focus on me now?”

 

“Such great leading skills.” Jisung says.

 

“10 out of 10,” Changbin adds quickly before Chan sends death stares both of their ways.

 

“Don’t tease our hyung. Look at how cute he is.” Felix says, pointing at Chan’s curls. “Have you ever seen curls more beautiful? I don’t think so.”

 

“Thank you, Felix, but you’re changing the subject again.” Chan says, smiling widely. “I’m just gonna say it because you five will never shut up anyway.”

 

“I got us a chance to perform some of our 3RACHA songs at this club or whatever thing, and apparently JYP himself will be there to see how we would look as a group.” Chan talks quickly. “So basically, we’re finally a step closer to debuting and proving ourselves, even if it’s gonna be hard and we only have a month to prepare, I think we can do it.”

 

Changbin feels Felix’s arms around him before Chan’s words even get to him. Everyone’s cheering and hugging, but Changbin just can’t believe it. “A-are you joking?”

 

“Of course I’m not, Bin, I know how much this means to you. We finally got a chance!” Chan exclaims happily, and then turns to hug Jisung.

 

“Hyung, I’m so proud of you.” Felix whispers close to him, his arms still around Changbin’s chest tightly. “Hard work really does pay off, right.”

 

Changbin turns his head to Felix’s side, their faces yet again only a mere of inches apart. But this time none of them pull away, nor do they move closer either. They just look at each other, while Felix holds him close. “I can’t believe this, Lix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi loves i hope u liked this chap!! i couldnt update bc of work n i was travelling, im sorry :( but this is where it gets interesting i mean the storyline is FINALLY moving c: leave me feedback in the comments or my cc, id love to hear what u felt while reading this!! 
> 
> AND WHO'S EXCITED FOR STRAY KIDS' COMEBACK???? I MEAN I AM!!! YO CHAN'S GURL IS DYING


	10. I Smile

The next month quite literally flew by. With all of the preparations going on, including choosing the perfect setlist and practicing every song until it was flawless, Changbin had hardly any time to rest and think about other stuff besides being liked by Park Jinyoung and debuting with 3RACHA.

 

Including Felix.

 

He hadn’t seen the younger in a long time, except for the few times they ran into each other in the hallways. But even then Changbin had been in a rush, having to leave Felix’s presence too quickly for his own liking.

 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss Felix. Of course he did. Maybe that’s why more frequently than ever, Felix kept appearing in his dreams. With his soft hair and freckled cheeks, he always smiled at Changbin, but before they could actually talk or anything, Changbin would always wake up, left with a sour mood because yet again it had only been a silly dream.

 

He wasn’t working to debut with Felix, even if that was all he wanted. He was finally brave enough to admit that to himself, but of course not to any of his friends. He would never want to let them down and he would never do anything that would be bad for 3RACHA’s future. He just hoped that maybe there was still a chance, somehow. That maybe he and Felix would be groupmates one day.

 

But Changbin wasn’t the only one making sacrifices.

 

He knows Jisung wasn’t taking it easy either. Since the latter was younger and more inexperienced in the whole dating thing, he had obviously grown too attached to Minho in that short amount of time they had spent together. And now, not being able to see the older every single day, it was definitely affecting him.

 

It was just best to not mention the older’s name, that way Jisung’s mind was occupied with music and he had no time to think about Minho.

 

He could only imagine what Minho was feeling.

 

Chan was also sleeping less than ever, pulling way too many all nighters and spending too much time going over every single detail for their performance. He handled stress well, better than Changbin and Jisung atleast, having been a trainee for so long, but his sleeping habits were still terrible. Chan will probably fall into hibernation after their performance, that’s for sure.

 

But all of them knew that month full of pain, that had pushed them so out of their comfort zone, had all been worth it the minute they were finally called on the stage.

 

Called on the stage as 3RACHA.

 

Like they were an actual group.

 

Going on the stage to introduce themselves, Changbin had been very nervous. But since the lighting on the crowd was so dim and so Changbin couldn’t see anyone’s judging faces, he got more confident.

 

When they were already performing their second track, Tik Tok, the crowd’s cheers made Changbin forget his nervousness and he actually enjoyed performing. He felt cool while rapping in front of so many people, more cooler than he has ever felt and he loved the feeling.

 

He could see Chan and Jisung were enjoying themselves too and it put the biggest smile on Changbin’s face.

 

He could swear he sometimes heard especially loud cheers from the crowd, from someone with a voice too low, and he could only hope it was the person he was looking most forward to seeing.

 

The crowd loved them so much, they actually demanded that they repeated Runner’s High. Not that they minded spending four more minutes on the stage anyway.

 

It was when they stepped off the stage and walked backstage to the room they were allowed to use, that Changbin actually realised what had just happened.

 

“Oh my god?” Changbin said with shaking hands, turning to face his two best friends who were both sweaty and out of breath like him. But they were both smiling, obviously satisfied with how the night had turned out.

 

“We really just did that?” Changbin asked, smiling like an idiot. “I wasn’t imagining this?”

 

“You definitely weren’t.” Felix’s voice startled the three of them, who all turned to the owner of the voice. “I was there after all. And I couldn't be more happier for being a part of the crowd, you guys really killed it.” He said, his smile blinding Changbin.

 

Maybe it was Changbin’s adrenaline that made him act so bold. Or maybe it was the fact that he really had missed the younger so much. Either way he couldn’t stop himself when he walked up close to Felix, pulled him out of the room and pushed him against the closest wall.

 

He gave the younger approximately three seconds before he leaned in, touching Felix’s lips with his slowly. He didn’t want to scare the younger away, after all.

 

Felix’s lips were soft, even softer than he had imagined. But the kiss was cut short when he felt Felix pull away a little.

 

“Hyung,” Felix mumbled quietly against his lips.

 

“Mm?” Changbin looked into Felix’s big eyes that were filled with lust, staring right back at him.

 

Even if the other clubbers were yelling loudly and hyping up the new performer, Changbin could only hear his own heartbeat thrumming violently in his ribcage. And in his head. He was just praying that Felix hadn’t heard it.

 

He found it hard to focus on anything else than Felix, especially when he was standing this close to him, their chest’s almost touching.

 

He loosened the grip on Felix’s arm, realising he was gripping the younger pretty hard because of the sudden anxiety he felt in his chest.

 

“I’m so proud of you, hyung.” Felix said after a while, before he leaned in again, grabbing Changbin’s neck quite forcefully and melting away the ball of anxiety in Changbin’s chest.

 

Everything else kind of faded away then, like nothing else mattered to them. It was just him and Felix. Kissing in a hallway of a club that 3RACHA will probably never be able to forget. Nor will Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would any of u be interested if i started a minsung fic?


	11. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY 3RACHA DAY!

“You do realise you have to take Felix out on a date now?” Minho’s foot nudged against his under the kitchen table. Changbin felt his cheeks heat up at the mention of Felix’s name, the memory of the two kissing painted so freshly in his mind.

 

“Remind me again why I’m eating breakfast with you? In my kitchen? Without Jisung?” Changbin mumbles, looking away from the older. He decides staring at the cereal that’s soaking in his bowl is much more interesting.

 

He knows damn well Jisung is still asleep in the other room, probably tired from their 3RACHA _gig_. But Changbin would literally rather swallow a living snake than talk about Felix with Minho, so he tries to change the subject.

 

“Sungie baby is tired, just like Chan hyung. You’re the only weirdo up this early.” Minho puts his spoon down and folds his arms on his chest, a smirk on his face. “Had a restless night?”

 

Changbin looks Minho in the eye, annoyed by the other. Of course he had been thinking about Felix the whole night. And also the adrenaline after the whole 3RACHA performance just wouldn't leave him. “What do you know? Maybe kissing boys is not a big deal for you, but Felix i-is my first a-and..”

 

He didn’t mean to say it, afraid he might have hurt Minho’s feelings, but the latter just smiles at him, the annoying smirk gone.

 

“Oh, trust me, I know plenty about it. I couldn’t stop shaking the whole night after I kissed Sungie.”

 

“That’s because you dumbass got sick.” Changbin reminds him. Thinking about it, it feels like a memory from years ago.

 

“Well, yeah.” Minho laughs, picking up his spoon again. “But I was actually nervous as fuck, I didn’t know if Jisung actually liked me.”

 

“Please.” Changbin barks. “Everyone knew you two were dating before you realised it yourself.” It’s still surprising for Changbin to hear that Minho could’ve been scared too. He never looks anxious about anything.

 

“Shut up.” Minho says, his cheeks growing rosy.

 

“Oh my god,” Changbin says in disbelief. “Is the confident Lee Minho actually blushing right now?”

 

Minho kicks him under the table, this time harder than before. “You deserve it.” He says, before Changbin can even open his mouth to whine about it.

 

“Anyways, not all of us were so confident in our first kiss like you, Bin.” Minho says again, making direct eye contact with Changbin. “Before you ask anything, Felix told me about everything when we came home yesterday. He was just as blushy as you are, how cute.”

 

Changbin knows Minho is just trying to tease him, but he hates that it actually works. To imagine Felix talking about him to others makes Changbin’s heart just too fucking warm.

 

Minho takes Changbin’s silence as a sign to continue his never ending blabbering. “I don’t mean that Jisung was my first kiss, but it was the first one that actually mattered. That’s why I kinda accidentally threw myself at him. But if he hadn’t kissed back.. Oh, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

 

“Me either, Minho.” Changbin stands up, picking up their bowls. “I don’t ever wanna think about you two snogging again. I have to see it every day anyway, I’m tired.”

 

Minho laughs, before he stands up too. “Just think about what I said, okay. Felix deserves the world, you know it, right?”

  
  
  


Changbin just couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with Minho. He replayed it in his head the whole afternoon, thinking about how comfortable Minho and Jisung were with each other while Changbin was here, in his room, making sure he wasn’t accidentally gonna run into Felix. Thank god they got the Sunday off.

 

The thing is, he was dying to see Felix already. Now, more than ever, he missed the boy’s presence, wishing he could relive yesterday night when he had finally kissed Felix.

 

But he was also anxious. How is he gonna face Felix? Does Felix even want this, or has he changed his mind already? He wouldn’t blame him.

 

Changbin’s inner monologue is disturbed when he hears his phone ring. He leans towards it, not expecting the caller to be Felix.

 

With shaking arms he picks up the phone, pressing answer.

 

“Lixie?” He asks, surprised.

 

He smiles when he hears the familiar voice reply. “ _Binnie hyung! W-were you sleeping?_ ”

 

“Of course, It’s like three in the afternoon. How could I possibly be asleep?”

 

“ _You can ask Hyunjin. I don’t know how it’s possible, but he must’ve been more tired because of your performance than you yourself._ ” Felix laughs, and Changbin actually feels something turn in his stomach. “ _He’s been asleep for 13 hours now._ ”

 

“ _But a_ _-anyways, I-I_ wanted _to ask you something."_ Felix rambles. Changbin’s heart jumps every time Felix stutters out of nervousness, damn him.

 

“What is it? You’re making me nervous, Lixie.” Changbin replies, honest. He feels like throwing up. Is this how love feels like? Because Changbin doesn’t like it.

 

“ _Ah, hyung, I’m sorry. Please don’t be nervous._ ” Felix says with a voice that isn’t confident at all. “ _I was just wondering if y-you wanted to catch a movie with me?”_

 

“Only on one condition.” Changbin says. He smiles when he hears Felix’s surprised gasp. “I will buy the tickets, so it’s like a d-date or.. You know..”

 

“ _A date, Bin hyung?_ ”

 

“Yes, a date. If it’s okay with you.” He turns around, already thinking about the time he’s gonna spend alone with Felix. Just the two of them. But his jaw quite literally drops when he finds Chan, Minho and Jisung eavesdropping on them behind his open door.

 

“I’ll see you in ten.” He says, quickly ending the call before he even hears Felix’s reply. “What do you think you are doing, you stupid nosy asshats?”

 

“It was Minho’s idea.” Jisung yells before he and Minho run off, leaving a stuttering Chan behind.

 

“N-Nicely done, mate. Look at you getting all these hot dates.” Chan says, slowly backing away, embarrassed. He really looks like a deer caught in the headlights right now.

 

“Don’t you mate me right now, you totally made a fool out of me right in front of Felix just now.” Changbin says. Because he had ended the call so quickly, he didn’t even know if Felix wants this to be a date or not.

 

“For your information, he can’t see you through the phone.” Minho laughs, peeking through the crack between Jisung’s door. “And I think he knows how much of a fool you are by now.”

 

“Wow.” Changbin breathes out slowly. “I’m really gonna kill your boyfriend one day, Jisung.”


	12. When you love someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the angst roll in :~)

“So, what was that about?” Felix asks, one of his eyebrows raised. He looked confused, probably still thinking about why Changbin suddenly hanged up on him.

 

But he was as beautiful as ever, Changbin couldn’t help but notice when the younger stood in front of him, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets and face serious, like he was about to question every life choice Changbin had ever made. It made him anxious.

 

The color of the jacket fit well with his black jeans, making him look like one of those famous instagram guys.

 

“You’re wearing jeans instead of sweatpants? That’s something new.” Changbin can’t even hide his surprised tone.

 

Felix follows Changbin’s eyes and looks down, realising what Changbin is talking about.

 

“Oh.” Felix says, embarrassed. “I just thought, you know, because it’s a-a date and..”

 

“You didn’t have to dress up for me, though.” Changbin says, enjoying how flustered Felix gets. “You look good either way.”

 

“Thank you, Bin hyung.” Felix’s voice is small, but his eyes and smile are full of warmness. Changbin knows the latter loves getting compliments, even if he’s shy.

 

“So, should we go now?” Changbin says, taking the lead and grabbing Felix’s much smaller hand with his. He guides them through the corridor, but stops right before the stairs when he feels Felix tug him back with their intertwined hands.

 

“You still didn’t answer my question.” Felix says. It takes Changbin a moment to understand what the younger is talking about.

 

“Oh, Lixie.” Changbin smiles, squeezing Felix’s hand. “Minho and the others were just being nosy. I’m sorry, I never meant to hang up on you.”

 

“That actually… makes sense.” Felix laughs, before his eyes flicker to their intertwined hands and Changbin can see how something flashes in his eyes.

 

The next time Felix opens his mouth, his voice sounds ten times more serious. “I also wanted to talk about something else.”

 

Changbin doesn’t expect Felix to let go of his hand, but he still does.

 

“I-I think you should be more concerned about what you do in public and be more careful. Now that you’re most probably gonna debut soon, people will notice, and..”

 

“And what?” Changbin asks, his voice quiet. He doesn’t want Felix to end that sentence.

 

“We shouldn’t hold hands in public, or do anything like that at all.” It hit Changbin in the chest like a sharp knife.

 

“You have to maintain a good image, you know that, right hyung.” Felix says, squeezing Changbin’s shoulder comfortingly. “If you’re gonna be an idol, you just have to be careful.”

 

To be honest, Changbin hadn’t even thought about that yet. He had just kissed Felix, this was all so new to him. But now that Felix pointed it out, it made sense.

 

Maybe Changbin should care, but he didn’t.

 

“But-” Changbin tried to reason with Felix, but the boy stopped him.

 

“No but’s, hyung. Trust me, I wanna show the whole world that I’m with _you_ , too, but I can’t put your career after my needs. You’ve worked so hard for this.” Felix says, apologetically. “We can still do that between our safe walls, though. I-If you still want, o-of course.”

 

Changbin wanted to argue back, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. He didn’t want to upset Felix either, so he faked a smile, nodded and turned around. His mind was racing hundred miles an hour, but he tried to hide it all.

 

If he just focuses on Felix’s presence, maybe he can get through this movie date without a big breakdown.

  
  
  
  
  


But he couldn’t.

 

Even if Felix was happy, smiling and making jokes as usual, Changbin couldn’t help but think about how they had to act around each other like they were just friends. And all because of Changbin’s stupid future career.

 

He wanted to hold Felix’s small hand like every couple around them, he wanted to hide behind Felix’s arm when a jumpscare happened. Heck, he even wanted to rest his arm around Felix’s shoulders and just hold him like they do in those cheesy romance movies. But he couldn’t.

 

And he might never.

 

Just because of his career. Because of the media. Because of the stupid norms in his country.

  
  
  


When they get out of the movie theater, Felix in the middle of talking about his impressions on the movie, Changbin decides to act bold.

 

He grabs Felix’s arm, holding it tightly. Felix looks at him confused, but before he can say anything, Changbin shushes him.

 

“I wanna hold your hand, Lixie, and you can’t stop me. Nothing you say will stop me.” Changbin says, smiling a little when Felix blushes slightly. “Unless, you wanna end this. Then, of course, I won’t hold your hand.”

 

“What are you even saying, hyung. Of course I don’t wanna end this.” Felix squeezes their intertwined hands.

 

“Then please don’t argue with me about my future or anything. Let me just enjoy this right now, please.” Changbin says. He can’t stand arguing with Felix at all.

 

Felix nods, but Changbin doesn’t miss the glimpse of worry in his eyes.

 

They start walking towards home, hand in hand. Changbin finally feels content, like this moment could last forever and he wouldn’t even mind.

 

“Chan hyung knew you wouldn’t like this.” Felix says after a while, when they make it to their apartment building.

 

Changbin opens the door and holds it open for Felix, letting him in first. Felix smiles thankfully before stepping inside. Changbin finds himself mesmerized by his smile again.

 

“Wait, what do you mean Chan hyung knew?” Changbin asks, snapping out of it. “He talked to you about us?”

 

Felix looks back at him with an anxious face, biting his lower lip before replying. “Well, we had a conversation about it. H-he told me how your public image is very important now-”

 

“But we don’t even know if we’re gonna debut yet!” Changbin says, furious. Felix startles a little, and Changbin instantly feels bad for raising his voice.

 

“It’s very likely, hyung.” Felix says, fidgeting with the edge of his jacket sleeve. He must’ve known the truth would anger Changbin.

 

Something about this didn’t sit well with Changbin at all, but he didn’t want to ruin Felix’s night, so again, he put up an act. “Let’s just go inside, okay.”

 

He started walking upstairs to their floor, Felix following him quickly. When he reached his door, he felt Felix tug at his hoodie.

 

“Promise you’re not mad at Chan hyung.” Felix says, nervously. Maybe he realised he should’ve never told about his conversation with Chan to Changbin, but it was too late now.

 

“I promise, Lixie.” He smiled at the younger, trying to make Felix’s worries go away. He knew it worked when he saw Felix relax visibly and smile back at him.

 

The younger took a step closer to him, and before Changbin even realised Felix’s intentions, Felix had left a butterfly kiss on his cheek. He blushed, feeling the heat in his cheeks.

 

“I had such a good day with you, hyung. Thank you.” Felix smiled, before stepping away. He smiled once more before he walked to his door, spent a good minute fiddling with his keys and then waved before stepping in. Changbin waved back quickly, but his face left all emotion when Felix was gone.

 

He felt the anger bubble under his skin when he opened the door to their dorm and heard the quiet conversation coming from the living room. He quickly took off his shoes before he walked to where his _best friends_ were enjoying their nice evening.

 

“I can’t believe you did this.” Changbin says, pointing a finger at Chan, who was right in the middle of writing something in his journal. Both his and Jisung’s heads snap up in surprise when they hear Changbin’s voice. “You really think it’s okay to go behind my back and decide stuff for me?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Jisung asks, confused. But Chan isn’t confused, Changbin can tell by the look from his eyes that he must’ve been waiting for this.

 

“Stay out of this, Jisung.” Changbin snaps. “Or do you want Chan hyung to sabotage your relationship too?”

 

“I didn’t s-” Chan tries to speak, but Changbin cuts him off immediately.

 

“Stop talking, I don’t wanna hear your lies.” He says, annoyed. When Chan stands up and tries to take a step closer to him, Changbin backs further away from him. He knows he’s crossing a line, but he’s fed up. “You told Felix all this bullshit, he wouldn’t even hold my hand because he was scared about ruining my image or something.”

 

“I was just doing what’s best for you.” Chan says, hurt.

 

“No, you were doing what you thought was best for 3RACHA. But you know what? I don’t wanna debut with you. I’m tired of people making my choices for me.”

 

“If I wanna hold someone’s hand in public, I will. And no one will even bat an eye. And if I wanna debut in a group with Felix, I will. Even if it takes years of practice, I'll wait.” Changbin hears Jisung gasp quietly, but his eyes are stuck on Chan’s face.

 

“You don’t mean that.” Chan says, taking a step closer again, but Changbin doesn’t let him come closer. “I saw how happy you were on the stage yesterday. You want to debut as 3RACHA just as much as we do.”

 

Yes, he had been happy, but that didn’t change his true wish.

 

“And Felix might never debut, are you really gonna waste your only chance to live your dream just because of him?”

 

He knew Chan was right about that one. Of course he had thought about that too, but he was furious and so he didn’t want to agree with Chan.

 

In fact, he was done talking about this. Nothing was gonna change his mind, nor take his anger away.

 

“Just stay away from Felix, okay? Whatever happens, I’m not gonna let you take him away from me. H-He makes all the pain worth it, you can’t.. You can’t just come between us. Not when I finally have someone like him in my life.” Changbin says, before he storms off to his room, closing the door behind him with a loud bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading :) leave your thoughts in the comments or in my curious cat!!


	13. Breaking Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg how long has it been again..... id say im sorry But listen to me .,,, ,, i literally didnt know what to do with this fic so i needed time :') anyways have fun reading!!

Changbin lays on his bed, his body exhausted but mind fully awake. He knows a few hours have passed since he and Chan argued, but his mind is still racing hundred miles an hour and he can’t get himself to calm down.

 

To be honest, he feels guilty. He’s hurt the only person who has always been there for him when he needed it the most, the only person who never left his side and always believed in him through the hard path of becoming an idol. If it weren’t for Chan, and Jisung of course, he would’ve never come this far. Thoughts like this make him anxious and angry, because how could he? Once again he’s let his anger take the best of him, and he can’t stand it.

 

Chan was just looking out for him, and instead of getting mad, Changbin should’ve been grateful. Right? And he knows Chan wasn’t wrong either. He needs to face the truth, like it or not.

 

So, before he knows it, he’s standing up and walking towards Chan’s room, only one wish on his mind: to be forgiven by his best friend.

 

He knocks on the door quietly twice, knowing by the light peeking through the crack in the door that Chan is still awake. Probably just as upset as Changbin.

 

When he doesn’t hear anything in return, he leans against the door, heart more anxious than ever. “Chan hyung, I’m sorry.” He whispers, seriously hoping that Chan will forgive him. Maybe even understand him.

 

It takes another second before he hears some rustling from inside the room and then Chan opens the door, immediately throwing his arms around Changbin’s neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“What took you so long, _oh my god_?” Chan breathes, holding Changbin close. It plasters a smile on Changbin’s face, his heart warm. Chan couldn’t sleep either. It makes the knot in his stomach disappear.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry I yelled at you.” Changbin apologises, thousand words trying to make it past his lips at the same time. “I-i was just confused and mad and..”

 

Chan releases Changbin from his hug, but his hands grab Changbin’s shoulders and hold him strongly in place.

 

“Please don’t ever apologise for your true feelings, I totally understand you, Bin.” Chan smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry too, I never meant to decide stuff for you.”

 

“Then we’re okay?” Changbin asks, looking into his best friend’s shining eyes. They’re as big and warm as ever. So accepting.

 

“Of course we are.”

 

Changbin breathes, relief filling his body. He notices the dark circles under Chan’s eyes, and he instantly feels bad again for upsetting his best friend.

 

“Wait, where’s Jisung? I hope we didn’t wake him.” Changbin says, worried. They had a whole conversation in the hallway, without really toning their voices down either. If their talking woke up Jisung, he will be furious with them.

 

“Oh, he’s not here.” Chan says, his hand scratching his neck awkwardly. “You know how he gets when people around him fight..”

 

“Upset. Miserable. Sad.” Changbin nods. Of course. Jisung’s like a little baby, who really can’t stand anything tense around him,

 

“Yeah, exactly.” Chan says, and laughs a little. “So of course he went over to Minho’s. I bet he’s getting babied and pampered exactly the way he needs.”

 

“Oh?” Changbin lets out a surprised breath when Chan mentions Minho’s name. “So, they’re not gonna.. You know?”

 

“No, I don’t think so.” Chan says, eyes sympathetic. “I talked to Jisung about _it_ after you stormed off to your room, and he thinks now, more than ever, he will need Minho by his side. Not just as a friend. He says he’s gonna try to make it work, you know, the whole boyfriend thing.”

 

“Ah, okay.” Changbin nods. Jisung’s firmness has always been one of his best qualities. And Changbin knows if Jisung really tries, he will make it work. “I’m happy for them. Really, really happy.”

 

But then Chan _really_ looks at him, like he could see through Changbin’s soul, and it makes Changbin feel very small and vulnerable.

 

“I see you’ve decided to go a different way?” Chan asks, eyes curious.

 

“I, yeah, I think so yeah.” Changbin mumbles. “M-me and Felix, we-we are still new at this and I don’t think it’s too late to call it off. W-we can still be friends, right?”

 

Chan bites his lip, but doesn’t say anything.

 

“I don’t want a single relationship to get in the way of 3RACHA.” Changbin says, more to reassure himself than Chan. Changbin’s gonna have to believe it, then others will too.

 

“I hope you didn’t decide this because of what I said or did. This has to come from you, Binnie. You know I’m truly happy as long as you and Jisung are happy.” Chan says, his brown orbs never leaving Changbin’s.

 

“No, don’t worry, hyung. This was all me.” Changbin says, half lying, half not. “I don’t think Felix feels that serious about me, anyway. I don’t want to drag him into anything.”

 

Chan gives him a pained expression, meaning he knows something that Changbin doesn’t, but Changbin’s easily gonna act like he didn’t catch it. It’s easier that way for the both of them.

 

“I’ll always support you, Bin.” Chan pulls Changbin into a comforting hug again, it’s just exactly what Changbin needed. “But as Felix’s friend, you need to promise me you will go talk to Felix from face to face the next in the morning.”

 

Changbin shudders at the thought of talking to Felix, but it’s the least he can do for the freckled latter. If he wants to maintain a healthy friendship with the younger, he will have to do this.

 

“I promise you, Chan hyung.”

  
  
  
  
  


After four hours of restless sleep and an exhausting dance class, Changbin messages Felix and asks him to meet him down at the cafe they first talked to each other.

 

It feels like it was just yesterday.

 

When Changbin enters the familiar cafe, he’s hit with all of the memories from the last months. After all, it has always been his favorite hangout spot, so of course he brought Felix here with him many times too. And just like Changbin, Felix fell in love with the cosy cafe instantly.

 

Now, he’s probably gonna have to look for a new place if he ever intends to get work done in peace without remembering all of the happy yet painful memories.

 

He orders two hot chocolates, hoping the warm sweet drink will make it atleast a little bit easier and less hurtful.

 

The easiest way for Changbin would be to turn off his feelings and heart, and just get it over with quickly. But this is Felix, it’s not a regular break up. He can’t just delete everything he feels towards Felix.

 

Changbin’s so engaged with his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the younger before Felix slightly touches his hand with his and Changbin winces at the touch, surprised by the cold feeling. Felix doesn’t miss it, and so he quickly removes his hand and folds them on his lap under the table between them.

 

“I’m sorry, you just seemed so lost in thought..” Felix apologises, a tiny smile on his face. His cheeks and nose are red because of the cold fall wind, and Changbin feels even worse for making him come down here.

 

“I-it’s okay.” Changbin stutters, nervous now that the younger is actually here, looking at him curiously with his big eyes.

 

“Here.” Changbin pushes one of the cups closer to Felix. “I ordered some hot chocolate for us.”

 

“Oh, thank you so much hyung. You really didn’t have to.” Felix says, smiling big. It’s the quite literally blinding smile that Changbin adores so much. He tries to paint it in his memory, so he can never forget it.

 

“No, it’s the least I could do.” Changbin says, taking a sip from his drink nervously. The hot chocolate tastes less sweeter today, but Changbin knows he deserves that.

 

“W-what do you mean, least?” Felix asks, raising a brow in question. “I-i was actually very surprised when you messaged me, you didn’t even tell me why. And the way you’re acting right now.. this is all so confusing.”

 

“It's because I-I need to tell you something, Felix.”

 

“Really hyung, what’s this all about? Just tell me already.” Felix seems anxious. Oh, how Changbin wishes he could reach across the table and hold Felix’s small hand comfortingly. But he has to be strong and get it together.

 

“We need to end this, Lix.” Changbin says. “I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I can’t do this to you. We’re gonna be busy with schedule soon and.. and it just wouldn’t be fair towards you.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Felix’s eyes flicker down, any emotion from his face gone. He doesn’t ask why Changbin changed his mind so quickly. He doesn’t argue back. He doesn’t even mention that Jisung will try to make it work with Minho. He doesn’t yell at Changbin for being weak and scared. He doesn’t say anything. He just accepts it, like he had seen it coming.

 

And Changbin knows it’s easier that way.

 

“We can still be friends though, right?” Changbin presses through gritted teeth, feeling a lump in the back of his throat as he watches a single tear roll down Felix’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW ARE WE FEELING STAYS *-*  
> if anyone wants to talk abt the AMAZING skz cb with me pls hit me up ok im waiting
> 
>  
> 
> also i started a minsung fic, so please check it out if you'd like! i'll try to update it this weekend too


	14. Out Of My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boi

Changbin had been wrong. He had never been so damn wrong in his whole life.

 

After two months of their official debut, when the promotions were over and they had no schedule and whatsoever, he really hadn’t expected to be put back in the so called “JYPE dungeon”. But that’s exactly what had happened.

 

They were told to rest and slowly work on new music, but there were no updates about their future comebacks or anything, so basically all they did these days was _nothing_. They did have classes from time to time and of course Chan worked on music daily, but Changbin and Jisung were bored quite most of the time.

 

Their debut was even kind of successful, but a hip hop trio wasn’t that usual for the big entertainments, like JYP Entertainment, so their fanbase didn’t grow very quickly. But that’s not the reason why 3RACHA wanted to debut anyway.

 

They just wanted people to hear their music. To acknowledge them for their hard work.

 

“What do you wanna do today?” Changbin asks, his forehead pressed against the cold living room window. He watches the snow fall, completely mesmerized by the beautiful sight. He loves winter, especially around Christmas time.

 

“Oh, me and Minho hyung were gonna go walk down the Han River and see the beautiful lights over the bridges. He’s just so excited for Christmas.” Changbin doesn’t have to turn around to know that Jisung is smiling at the thought of his boyfriend. “He won’t stop talking about it.”

 

“With Minho hyung, huh?”

 

“Yes, you’re correct.” Jisung stands up and pats Changbin on his back lightly. “Congratulations, you’re not deaf.”

 

“So, you’re just gonna leave me to die alone?” Changbin whines, quickly turning around to make puppy eyes at his best friend. Jisung laughs, clearly unbothered by Changbin’s attempt.

 

“Well, you could go and help Chan hyung? Maybe if you wrote some music for once, we wouldn’t be unemployed right now.” Jisung says, earning a pout from Changbin.

 

Changbin’s about to reply when they hear the front door open, turning both to face the incomer. It’s no surprise when it turns out to be Minho. He’s already dressed in his black winter coat, a scarf loosely wrapped around his neck.

 

“Please-” Changbin quickly turns back to Jisung, begging. If his pleas can make Jisung change his mind, Minho will just have to accept it too.

 

“No.” Minho cuts in, already stepping between Changbin and Jisung. “Don’t even try to use your witchcraft on my boyfriend.”

 

“But you didn’t even let me finish my sentence.” Changbin says, staring at Minho wicked.

 

The older smirks, clearly amused by the younger’s whining. “Because I know exactly what you want and no, you can’t come with us. It’s that easy.”

 

“Why not?” Changbin asks, interested. He wouldn’t go anyway if he just had to third wheel with Minho and Jisung the whole evening, but that doesn’t mean he will give away a chance to annoy them that easily.

 

“Because we’re going on a double date.” Minho says, his attention back on his boyfriend. His hands are on Jisung’s waist as he looks the latter up and down. “Are you thinking of getting dressed soon? Or do you want us to be late like usual?”

 

Jisung’s cheeks go rosy at Minho’s accusing tone and Changbin quickly looks away, not in the mood to see the other two flirt in front of him again. He has to deal with that too often for his liking.

 

“Jisung didn’t tell me anything about a double date.” Changbin says, confused, as he and Minho watch Jisung leave the living room.

 

“Oh, it’s because he doesn’t know anything. I make the plans here.” Minho says, like it’s the most normal thing ever.

 

“He’s right.” Jisung yells from the hallway. Minho laughs, before he turns back to Changbin.

 

“But I hope you still manage to have a good day, somehow. Even if you can’t be in my presence. Nor Sungie’s.”

 

“Just tell me who you’re going on the double date with and I’ll never bother you again.” Changbin decides to push the older a little further. Sue him for being curious.

 

“You promised not to tell anyone.” Jisung reminds Minho, peeking in the living room as he buttons his coat fast.

 

“Well, there’s no point in hiding it either. Felix is finally letting us meet his new boyfriend tonight.” Minho says, making direct eye contact with Changbin as to not miss the younger’s reaction. He must be enjoying this.

 

“Boyfriend?” Changbin mumbles, feeling the heavy knot forming in his lower stomach. Jisung takes a deep breath, like he’s never been more annoyed, before he walks up to Minho and pulls the latter away with him.

 

“Don’t worry, Bin hyung.” Jisung looks back while holding a hand over Minho’s mouth as to shush the older. “We’re not actually sure if they’re dating. I’ll find out and tell you later, okay?”

  
  
  
  
  


But as the night grew darker and there was still no sign of Jisung, Changbin was getting more impatient with every passing second.

 

Even as he was getting dinner with Chan, he couldn’t stop checking his phone as to see if Jisung had already texted him back.

 

“What’s wrong with you, Bin?” Chan says, pointing one of his chopsticks at Changbin. “You’ve been so out of it today.”

 

“I-I don’t wanna tell you, you’re just gonna be mad at me.” Changbin sighs, knowing damn well he has no right to be upset over Felix meeting someone new.

 

He still was, though.

 

“Changbin, we’re best friends, come on.” Chan says, putting his chopsticks down and turning all of his attention to the younger sitting across him. “You’re making me lose my appetite, I can’t eat like this.”

 

“Promise not to get mad?” Changbin asks, pushing his pinky forward. Chan smiles a little as he links their pinkies and nods, waiting for the younger to continue.

 

“Minho told me Felix is dating someone new.” Changbin rushes out, catching the surprise in Chan’s eyes. Well, maybe. We’re not sure.”

 

“And you’re upset because?”

 

“Because it’s only been a few months and he’s already forgotten about me.” Changbin raises his voice, furious for the first time that night. It’s not like he has forgotten about the younger.

 

“How do you know if he has forgotten about you if you don’t even talk to him? You’re the one who promised to stay as good friends but then stopped contacting him.” Chan reminds the younger, voice extra calm as if he’s trying to remind Changbin that they’re still at a public place. “You pushed him out of your life.”

 

“You know, I even went through Felix’s instagram, but there wasn’t anything interesting nor alarming, so I really don’t know what to think” Changbin says, ignoring Chan completely. He’s right and Changbin hates it.

 

“You have a problem.” Chan says, shaking his head in disbelief as he picks up his chopsticks again, ready to dig into his dinner. “I’ll try to find out, only because you’re so upset, but I’m not making any promises. And I’m not saying you have the right to be angry, okay?”

 

“Thank you, hyung.” Changbin says, a little relieved. He knows Chan still gets along well with the other Australian, so he’ll definitely find the truth out quickly. “And yes, trust me, I know.”

 

“I guess you’ve forgotten that we promised the others we would celebrate Christmas together?” Chan says after a while, eyes sympathetic when he catches Changbin’s shocked face.

 

“Christmas with Felix and his new boyfriend? I-I don’t know, hyung.”

 

“Hyunjin said he would burn all of your manga if you don’t come.” Chan says, smiling a little. “Guess you just have to suck it up. After all, it was your decision.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont rly have much to say other than pls dont hate me ily guys AND  
> reminding u again that i did start a new skz fic a few weeks ago so pls!!! check it out it would mean a lot <3


	15. Nobody Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want cuddles. n christmas. n minsung.

Changbin rushes up the stairs, his legs moving without much needed thought in the familiar building. His mind is wandering as he hums the new song their working on, not really expecting to see anyone.

 

That’s why he bolts to a stop when he makes it to his floor, seeing a stranger standing next to Felix’s, Minho’s and Hyunjin’s front door. He blushes a little, awkwardly realising the other must have heard him sing the whole time.

 

“Oh, hello!” The boy bows politely, smiling brightly as he stands up straighter. “You must be Changbin hyung. I’ve heard a lot about you. A-And I’m a big fan, of course.”

 

“T-Thank you?” Changbin says, ducking his head a little. He’s still not really used to being praised like that.

 

Changbin knows the guy, he realises he’s the one Changbin has seen often on Felix’s instagram posts. But he can’t really remember the latter’s name.

 

“I’m Eric! I forgot to mention it before.” He laughs and Changbin can’t help but notice that the younger has a pretty smile. Exactly like Felix.

 

“And what are you doing here, Eric?” Changbin asks, not really sure if he wants to know the answer. Considering how Eric might be the boy Jisung and Minho went out on a double date with, it’s pretty obvious he’s here to pick up Felix.

 

After the so called double date, Changbin had tried his hardest to find out the truth, but Minho said nothing and Jisung didn’t help him either, saying he wasn’t really sure about the whole thing. Changbin realises the two might just be teasing him, paying him back in their own way for hurting Felix. But until Changbin finds out the truth, he really has no thoughts of backing away.

 

“Eric and I are gonna go out, hyung.” Felix suddenly adds, Changbin and Eric both turning to face him, surprised. Felix was just stepping out of his dorm, closing the door behind him as he stood next to Eric. He snakes his arm around Eric’s shoulders, resting it there comfortably. Felix was wearing baby pink gloves and Changbin found himself going _aww_ in his mind. He’s still as adorable as ever.

 

“Felix, can we invite Changbin hyung with us?” Eric says, his eyes looking like they’re about to pop out of his head out of excitement when Felix raises his brows in question. “It would be so fun.”

 

“No, I’m kinda-”

 

“He’s busy-” Felix cuts in.

 

“Busy, yes. Very, very busy.” Changbin finishes, nodding.

 

“Come on,” Eric doesn’t let go that easily. “It’s Christmas break soon, you deserve to rest a little, hyung.”

 

“I-I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Changbin mutters, suddenly feeling like he is three times heavier. He would pay for the floor to swallow him.

 

“Why not?” Eric asks, confused. It only takes one look at Felix for Changbin to know that the younger never told about their mutual history to Eric. Changbin really doesn’t know if he should feel hurt or relieved.

 

When Changbin nor Felix say anything for a while, Eric takes that as a yes. “Good! Then I can finally show you this cool arcade I found, Lix.”

  
  
  
  


Felix nor Changbin say much as they walk to the arcade, both of them listening to Eric ramble about how much he idolises 3RACHA and how he likes their music the most out of every artist. Apparently, Eric is trying his best to become a trainee, auditioning in many different companies. He hasn’t had any luck yet, but when Changbin finds out Eric and Felix met at a dance competition, he knows Eric must be a good dancer just like Felix.

 

“I’m sorry I let Eric tag me along and ruin your little date. I just don’t know how to say no to people.” Changbin apologises to Felix once their at the arcade, the two of them waiting for Eric. Changbin’s glad for the alone time he got with Felix, even if it’s kind of short. He feels like it’s the perfect time to fix his mistakes.

 

“It’s okay, I know how much Eric likes 3RACHA, and it’s not like we can’t hang out, right?” Felix says, looking at Changbin. The pop music blasting in the arcade is pretty loud, but Changbin doesn’t wanna step any closer. It’s too much.

 

“Yeah, of course we can hang out together.” Changbin offers a small smile. “It will be like the old times.”

 

He knows the smile Felix gives him is forced, but he doesn’t mention it.

 

“I’m just wondering.. Why did you not tell Eric about us? Y-You know, our past?” Changbin asks the question that’s been dancing around in his mind ever since he talked to the two in the hallway.

 

“There wasn’t really much to say, was there?” Felix says, his gaze piercing. Changbin wonders if Felix can feel the cut he just left in Changbin’s heart.

 

“I-I guess you’re right.” Changbin wishes he never asked. Out of all the replies, this was not the one he was hoping to get,

 

“Now that this is all clear, I’m gonna go look for Eric. Are you coming?” Felix asks, stepping forward. The arcade is busking with people and there’s no sight of Eric where they are standing.

 

There’s not much other that Changbin can do anyway, feeling kind of anxious as a group of strangers push past him way too close for his liking. He follows Felix, hoping this night will be over soon.

  
  
  


But the time passes by quickly and Changbin finds himself actually enjoying the different games they play and even the company he’s with. Felix has visibly relaxed after their conversation, he actually laughs at Changbin’s jokes a couple of times and the older finds himself thinking he should’ve done this way before.

 

If he could have just pulled his shit together, he and Felix could’ve been friends the whole time and this weird distance between them would’ve never happened.

 

He also can’t lie, he still feels oddly warm when Felix nudges against him accidentally when he gets too into the game he’s playing or when he laughs loudly after another fail of his. After all, the sound of Felix’s laughter has always been Changbin’s favorite.

 

Right now, he’s thankful for Eric, even if he doesn’t trust the younger. There’s just something about him that Changbin can’t ignore, and though he has no real proof, he has decided to keep an eye on the latter and trust his instincts.

 

“Changbin hyung, do you think you could show me around in your studio?” Eric asks suddenly, excited. They’re all buttoning their coats, getting ready to leave the warm atmosphere and to step back into the cold reality. The question comes as a surprise, Changbin thinking they were finally done talking about 3RACHA. Even Felix gazes at Eric, eyes curious.

 

Changbin finds the question a little strange, considering how he just met the guy. He’s not sure if he can do that, never even thought of it before. Maybe if Eric was a trainee of JYP Entertainment, then yes, but as of right now, he’s just another stranger and Changbin’s sure he would get into trouble.

 

He would rather drink piss than get into trouble because of Felix’s _boy_ friend

 

“I’m not sure, Eric. Even Felix has never been to our studio.” Changbin tries to reason with the younger, thinking surely this will make Eric understand.

 

Thankfully Eric quiets down for a little, but then he smiles again, regaining his confidence quickly. “I’ll just try again soon.”

 

Is this guy really not taking no as an answer?

 

“I don’t really think Changbin hyung can do that, Eric.” Felix says, comforting the latter as he intertwines their arms and starts pulling him forward. He sends Changbin a look but the older doesn’t really catch the meaning of it. “Let’s go home. It’s been a long day.”

  
  


 

 

“So, be completely honest. Do you prefer third-wheeling with me and Jisung or with Felix and Eric?” Minho shoots out the question the second Changbin steps into their living room.

 

Changbin just sends him a glare, too tired to deal with the older. He’s not surprised when he finds Jisung and Minho glued to each other on the couch again.

 

“Oh, thank god you guys left me pizza. I’m fucking starving.”

 

“Those are Chan hyung’s leftovers.” Jisung says, pushing himself up a little straighter as he comfortably sits between Minho’s arms and legs. They’re like pieces of a puzzle, sticked together. “This must be the first time he didn’t finish all of his food.”

 

“I really don’t care who ate this, I’m pushing it all down my throat and even Chan hyung can’t stop me.” Changbin says, sitting down on the floor next to the box of pizza. The pizza is a little cold, but he actually prefers leftover pizza anyway. He crosses his legs and pulls the open box on his lap, ready to eat the whole thing in a minute.

 

“How do you even know I was with Felix and Eric?” Changbin asks Minho between the big bites of pizza, his curiosity getting the best of him.

 

“Easy. He texted me.” Minho says, wrapping his arms tightly around Jisung. Then he leans closer and whispers something to Jisung’s ear, knowing damn well Changbin can see the whole thing.

 

“Oh really?” Jisung asks quietly, surprise clear on his face.

 

“Wait, what did he say?” Changbin asks, interested in whatever the older couldn’t say out loud.  

 

“I didn’t say anything, Bin.” Minho says, playing dumb with Changbin.

 

“I literally just saw you whisper something.” Changbin says, annoyed. Minho smirks, enjoying how easily he can piss off the younger.

 

“No, you must have seen wrong. I just kissed my boyfriend’s cheek.” Minho says, leaning closer to Jisung again. “You wanna see me do it again?”

 

“For fucks sake, just stop.” Changbin grits, getting up and taking the pizza with him. “If you don’t wanna tell me, then fine. But I know Jisung will tell me eventually.”

 

“Not when I never leave his side.” Minho says, sending Changbin a finger heart. Jisung sends an apologizing look to Changbin, knowing the older must be seriously annoyed with his boyfriend. But Changbin knows Jisung enjoys being pampered by Minho, so of course he won’t just get up and leave his arms.

 

Minho has an advantage here and Changbin just has to accept it.

 

“Well, then I’m gonna go annoy Chan hyung with my problems, atleast I know he won’t tease me.” Changbin says, turning around as he hears Minho laugh. He thinks about the confusing feelings towards Felix and the way Eric rubbed him in the wrong way, and realises Chan will give him better advice anyway.

 

“Yeah, you do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLS the day6 concert tickets go out on monday N im so anxious wish me luck :( hope u liked THIS


	16. Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me vs writing a christmas chapter with no christmas spirit whatsoever :-)

Changbin gives himself a long glance in the mirror, not exactly liking the way his red sweater sat on his small figure. But Hyunjin had made it super clear that anyone who isn’t dressed up with Christmas spirit will eat instant ramen while others enjoy his high-class meals, so Changbin really has no choice.

 

He just hopes the sweater looks cute, even if the sweater paws make him look like a 5 year old boy who still can’t tie his shoelaces. His short height doesn’t work in his favor, though.  

 

But Changbin loses even the last bit of his confidence when he leaves his bedroom and is instantly met with a snickering Minho.

 

“Bet everyone will be super careful not to stand under the mistletoe with you tonight, Changbin,” Minho grins, a stupid smirk on his face. “Just try not to act too surprised when it happens, okay?”

 

“Don’t be rude, Minnie hyung.” Jisung says, his eyebrows furrowed as he pulls his boyfriend away. “I think hyung looks cute when he isn’t dressed in all black.”

 

Minho just scoffs as he mutters, “There’s a difference between being rude and honest, baby.”

 

Changbin sends Minho’s back a death glare when he feels a strong hand grip his shoulder. “Are you ready to go?” Chan asks, coming up behind Changbin.

 

He’s also wearing a Christmas sweater, this time a white one Changbin has never seen before.

 

“Is this new?”

 

“Oh,” Chan looks down, a shy smile on. “Yeah, I-I actually thought it’s time I Iet myself have something nice.”

 

“Well, it certainly is nice. You look good, hyung.” Changbin says, giving an approving nod when Chan’s smile grows even bigger, his dimples coming out.

 

Changbin can only dream of having shoulders as broad as Chan, surely the older never has to worry about looking like a thin leaf that’s stuck wearing a plastic bag. Or something like that.

 

“I hope you can still have a good time tonight.” Chan says, while they’re putting their shoes on. Thankfully because the Christmas dinner is being hosted literally on the same floor they live on, they don’t have to wear their coats and scarfs. “I know it might be a little awkward, but Felix is still the same person he was before all that shit happened, so just try to relax, okay?”

 

“I know, hyung, and I feel like me and Felix are back to normal anyway, but..” Changbin drifts off as he locks their apartment door, looking over at Felix’s dorm.

 

“Eric?” Chan asks, a know-it-all look on his face.

 

“Eric.” Changbin nods, before whining like the little kid he is. “I just don’t trust him, hyung.”

 

Chan laughs wholeheartedly as he links their arms, tugging the younger forward with him. “Let’s just go in and I’ll try to keep an eye on him, okay? Let me see what the fuss is all about.”

 

“But try not to be too obvious, please.” Changbin pleads as he thinks back on all the times Chan has failed being secretive and mysterious before. Chan just gives him a look that says “ _come on, when have I ever failed you?_ ” before knocking on the door in front of them.

 

It takes Hyunjin some time to open the door, probably busy with all the chores he had taken upon himself. When the taller boy finally opens the door, it’s with an apron tied around his chest and his bangs set in a ponytail.

 

“You look like a really old and worn out unicorn that’s about to pass out. No offence.” Changbin says, smiling as the younger glares at him.

 

“I will piss in your wine, hyung.” Hyunjin smiles at him sweetly before pulling him into a tight hug and sighing loudly, “I’m so glad you’re finally here.”

 

“Why? What do you mean by that?” Changbin mumbles into the younger’s neck, raising his eyebrow in question when the latter doesn’t give him an answer and goes to hug Chan instead.

 

“Take off your shoes and make yourself comfortable,” Hyunjin says, ignoring Changbin’s confusion and closing the door behind the olders. He leaves them alone then, probably to run back into the kitchen. Changbin doesn’t blame him.

 

He takes a look around the hallway he’s so familiar with, feeling like his at home when he notices all the little details about the apartment he hasn’t forgotten yet. Chan pats him on the back as he walks past him, straight into the living room where Changbin can hear all the chatter and some old Christmas tune playing quietly in the back.

 

He doesn’t know why, but he can feel his heartbeat go up when he slowly strolls closer to the others, not really prepared for whatever the night might bring. But he can’t stand in the hallway forever, so he gathers the little courage he has and does what he has to.

 

When he steps into the living room, it looks completely different from what he remembers. It’s all dolled up with the different Christmas lights and decorations, leaving Changbin in an awe. Now he really doesn’t understand why Minho hangs out in their dorm instead of his. Jisung can’t be worth this much, that’s just not possible.

 

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Felix says, putting his phone down on the table as he smiles at the older. They must’ve brought their kitchen table in here, because Changbin doesn’t remember the others having a table this big in the living room.

 

But even if Changbin would rather stare at the decorated dinner table, he can’t help when his eyes drift to Felix. And when Changbin says the younger is literally glowing under the colorful Christmas lights-

 

“Changbin hyung!” His inner monologue is disturbed when he feels someone pat him on the back excitedly. “You literally look like a Christmas present! Wow!”

 

Changbin’s cheeks heat up at the stupid comment, and it gets even worse when he hears Minho laugh out loud. Just two seconds ago the older was busy sucking Jisung’s face in the corner but of course there’s no way he would miss this.

 

Even Chan smiles from where he’s sitting across Felix, Changbin wishing the ground would just swallow him.

 

“Eric! Come help me!” Hyunjin peeks from the doorway. Changbin swears he winks at him when they make eyecontact for a brief moment, but he’s used to the younger trying to act cute all the time, so he doesn’t make much of it.

 

Changbin thanks him though, this way he doesn’t have to talk to Eric. Atleast not yet.

 

He walks closer to where Chan and Felix are sitting, but before Changbin can even say anything, Chan coughs loudly and excuses himself. Smooth, hyung, very smooth.

 

“Felix.. Y-You look good.” Changbin says when Chan leaves, offering a smile. Actually Felix looks more than good, he looks ethereal, but it’s better if Changbin keeps that to himself.

 

“You too, hyung. I think the red sweater fits you really well.” Felix says, smiling up at where Changbin is standing. He feels like he grew an inch at Felix’s praise, sure there’s a stupid grin on his face. But he just can’t help it. He’s missed the younger too damn much.

 

“So.. Why aren’t you helping out in the kitchen? Or why isn’t Minho hyung?” Changbin asks, not wanting to let the silence take over them. “He’s really making your guest help him out.”

 

“I know right! It’s so weird but hyung keeps acting up tonight. Seriously, every time I try to help him, he just shooes me away.” Felix shakes his head. “And well, there’s really no point in making Minho do anything that’s not Jisung.”

 

Changbin laughs when he looks at Felix’s disgusted face, feeling happiness bloom in his chest. He has missed making fun of the other two with Felix.

 

Soon after Hyunjin steps into the living room, two big bowls in his hands. Eric follows behind him, arms just as full as Hyunjin’s.

 

“Sit down, my children,” Hyunjin cheers loudly, as he places the food on the living room table. “We’re finally ready to eat.”

 

Chan, Minho and Jisung cheer as enthusiastically as Hyunjin and sit around the table, big smiles on their faces. Changbin’s ready to sit beside Chan, making sure to be further away from Minho and Jisung. He doesn’t need to hear their sweet-talking.

 

“No, hyung, you’re sitting beside Felix.” Hyunjin’s hand comes to stop him, a smirk on his face. “No complaints, okay? I make the rules here.” He whispers before pushing Changbin in Felix’s direction.

 

Was this his plan all along?

 

And what about Eric? He must feel awkward sitting far away from his boyfriend..

 

But all these thoughts leave his mind instantly when he slowly sits down and feels Felix place his small hand on his arm, gripping it. His eyes travel to Eric’s as he feels Felix lean closer, but the younger isn’t even looking. He already seems to be in a deep conversation with Chan, so Changbin relaxes a little.

 

“Merry Christmas, Bin hyung.” Felix whispers sweetly, pulling back quickly when Changbin turns to face him. There’s a blush creeping on the latter’s cheeks, and Changbin finds it hard to look away.

 

This night will certainly be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for continuing to support this story !! i know it wont go on for much longer anymore, so i hope u still show this lots of love n keep commenting, that rly make my day! <3 ily n pls support day6s cb HEHEH


	17. hurt road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes look who decided to update

“I actually have something for you, Changbin hyung.” Felix says, his cheeks red as he slurps on his wine loudly. Yeah, he wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol tonight, but somehow his begging got through Hyunjin and now here he is, tipsy and smiling. 

 

“I-I thought we said no presents?” Changbin stutters as he looks at the younger, the way he’s radiating warmth and happiness. “And haven’t you had enough of that?” Changbin motions to the drink in Felix’s hands. 

 

“Maybe,” Felix says as he finishes the cup, placing it on the table in front of them. The table’s definitely more emptier now that everyone’s stuffed with the delicious food Hyunjin made. Changbin really had no idea the younger could cook so well. 

 

“I just thought now that we’re friends again, I can finally give you this thing..” Felix stops talking for a minute, looking away from Changbin. When Changbin coughs, Felix clears his throat and continues again. “I wanted to give you this months ago, so you don’t have to take it as a Christmas present.” 

 

“Oh? Okay, Lix.” Changbin smiles at the younger. He just can’t help it. “So, where is it?”

 

“It’s in my room actually. Do you want to come with me?” Felix asks, standing up. He staggers a little and Changbin, afraid the younger might fall, quickly rushes up and grabs his waist, holding him tightly. He didn’t think they would end up standing so close, and he definitely didn’t think Felix’s face could go even redder, but it still does. 

 

“Ah, thank you, hyung.” He giggles as he frees himself from the older’s arms and turns around. Changbin’s brain feels foggy as everything had happened too fast, so he just follows close behind Felix, ignoring the surprised look Jisung gives him when he passes by the younger and his boyfriend. 

 

Felix turns on the light as they make it to his room and he tells Changbin to close the door behind him. Changbin obliges easily, but he still questions why it’s necessary.

 

“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous when he finds out you’re behind a closed door with another guy?” Changbin asks, nervous. They haven’t talked about the whole boyfriend topic before, and Changbin’s not sure if he wants to hear it for real. The fact that Felix is dating someone else. Someone that’s not Changbin.

 

“What boyfriend?” Felix takes his sweet time to answer, rummaging through his closet. It’s been quite some time since Changbin was here, and he tries not to think too much about how they had spent many hours cuddling together on that bed, watching lame rom-coms and just talking about everything that came to their minds without judging each other.

 

“E-Eric?” Changbin asks, his voice suddenly ten times smaller. Felix turns around to face him and Changbin feels stupid for asking. It’s none of his business. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut-

 

“Oh..” Felix says, a smile growing on his lips. “We aren’t dating.” 

 

“Y-You aren’t?” Changbin asks, still not believing it. 

 

“No, hyung, I don’t like him like that.” Felix says, a blush creeping on his face, and Changbin finds himself thinking he would just love to kiss those cheeks. “I think of him as a really good friend, maybe even the best!” Felix exclaims cheerfully, putting an instant smile on Changbin’s face. Everything the other boy does is just too contagious. 

 

“I-I didn’t know,” Changbin says, quietly. 

 

“Jisung never told you?” Felix asks, surprised. When Changbin shakes his head, Felix gives him a shrug and turns around again, continuing his search. “That’s weird.” 

 

Changbin wants to ask the younger if he’s sure about his feelings towards Eric, but he knows it’s not his place to interrogate him. He shouldn’t feel relieved, but he does. His heart feels lighter and he can’t stop the feeling from spreading throughout his body, even if it doesn’t really mean anything.

 

When Felix finally stops turning his closet upside down, he turns around with a flash drive in his small hands and a big grin on his face. A flash drive is definitely something Changbin couldn’t have think of.

 

“I-I wrote you a song. And this is the only copy of it..” Felix’s voice gets smaller but he regains his confidence when he sees Changbin’s encouraging smile. “It was right after we started writing music together. You used to praise me so much and your words really got to me, I felt like I was actually talented with this and for once I was doing something right..”

 

“And so I asked Chan hyung to help me and we recorded this.” He motions on the black flash drive in his hands. “I know I could’ve just sent you this as a file, but I wanted it to be special--”

 

“It is special, Lix.” Changbin cuts in. 

 

“Just as special as you made me feel.” You still make me feel that way, Felix. 

 

“Thank you, Felix.” He says instead, taking the small thing from Felix’s hand and resisting the urge to just kiss him right there. He goes for a hug instead, loving the way Felix’s arms loop around his neck so comfortably. 

 

“No need to thank me, Binnie hyung.” Felix giggles into Changbin’s ear and Changbin feels like he could die right at the spot. “I hope you like it.”

  
  
  
  


If playing it on repeat for 4 hours means liking it, then yeah. Changbin sure did like it a lot. 

  
  
  
  


Changbin doesn’t go home for New Years Eve either, choosing to rather spend it with his best friends. The company plans a big party every year for those who can’t go home or just choose not to, even a whole firework show they enjoy on their apartment building’s rooftop.

 

Changbin isn’t that fond of New Years Eve, not really getting the hype around it, but his best friends keep him happy and always make the celebration special for him, so he has no complaints this year either.

 

After the Christmas party their friend group was alive again, now that everything was okay between Changbin and Felix everyone were able to hang out together again, and Changbin couldn’t be happier about it. He really had missed having Hyunjin and Felix around. They had decided to watch the fireworks together as well, gathering on the rooftop with blankets around their already thick coats and smiles plastered on their faces. 

 

20 minutes before the new year, Changbin leaves the rooftop to get another bottle of champagne from their apartment, thankful for Chan drinking all of it so atleast he can warm up inside for a minute.

 

He had tried not to think too much about the fact that Felix was still missing, apparently off somewhere with Eric. The others had reassured him that Felix will definitely come and there’s no need to worry, so Changbin left it at that.

 

When he gets out of his apartment, a bottle in one hand and keys in the other, he almost yelps when he notices a dark figure coming up the stairs. Right towards him.

 

“Felix?” Changbin doesn’t have to look twice to know it’s his Felix, make up smudged and lips curled downwards. He looks small and vulnerable, and Changbin thinks if it weren’t for the stuff in his hands, he would be all over Felix already, trying to hug him.  

 

“Hi, hyung.” Felix says, trying to smile. But his smile looks broken and the new tears that start running down his cheeks don’t help it either. “I-”

 

“What’s wrong, Lix?” Changbin’s heart stammers in his chest, feeling like he could cry himself. Felix falls down on his knees and that’s all it takes for Changbin to free his hands and grab the younger, ending up on the floor with him. He pulls the younger forward, hugging him close as he feels Felix shake against him.

 

“Hey, hey, hey… It’s okay.” Changbin tries to calm Felix down, affectionately stroking his hair. He keeps comforting the younger until Felix has finally stopped crying and his body shaking. When Felix pulls further away, Changbin tries not to miss his body warmth too much.

 

“Eric lied to me.” Felix says as he wipes the tears under his eyes, his face red. Changbin doesn’t interrupt, letting the younger talk at his own chosen speed instead.

 

“He just used me. Used me to get a spot in JYP Entertainment.” Felix mumbles. Changbin finds it hard to understand the words, he really doesn’t want to understand. “And when he found out I’m friends with 3RACHA, he tried even harder.”

 

“But it didn’t work out, and he finally dropped the act.” Felix looks like he’s about to cry again, so Changbin just holds his hand, trying to comfort him. “I really thought he was such a good friend hyung-”

 

“I’m gonna kill him.” 

 

“No, hyung, It’s okay.” Felix gives him a broken smile, squeezing his hand with his. Changbin feels furious as he looks at Felix, thinking about how Eric did this to his Felix. His sweet and caring Felix.

 

“No, it’s not, Lixie. You’re just too precious, too pure, too kind for this ugly world. I don’t want to see you cry over anyone ever again, I just care about you too much and my heart can’t handle it. So trust me when I say, I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you again.” And besides that, I think I’m in love with you. Maybe. Probably. Most definitely.

 

“But how can you say that, hyung?” Felix asks, and Changbin feels like his heart got stuck in his throat. “When you’re the one that hurt me the most?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .. ireally wasnt gonna end this chapter like that But the ending is so strong n good lol???? and i dont wanna rush things (its been 17 chapters shut up rosi u couldnt be any slower) (ERIC I LOVE YOU STAN TBZ) anyways here comes a sappy note pls bear with me :)
> 
> so, lean on me has almost 300 kudos and im pleasantly shocked thank u for this christmas present :( i started lom 7? months ago and its been a wild journey,, and im sad to say that theres probably only 2 chapters left :(((
> 
> aside that, i hope all of you have a great time this christmas or hanukkah or whats it that u celebrate! and if u dont celebrate anything, i just hope u rest a lot this winter break and have a good time, winter is the time for healing my loves (i say this with my whole chest as i have seasonal depression but WHATEVER khmmm) 
> 
> and if anyones having a tough time, please know that i put my twitter and curiouscat up here for a reason! ive been told im a good listener so please, trust me when u need someone :)
> 
> i love you guys and always take care!! again, thank you for all you do (and i promise, the angst ends in the next chapter ;))


	18. Beautiful Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart.. its finally alive

“Felix,” Changbin says, feeling like the weight of the world lies on his shoulders as the younger looks into his eyes, waiting. Anticipating. “I’ve said I’m sorry. I’ve said it thousand times already. You do know I mean it, right?”

 

Felix doesn’t drop the eye contact, but his face takes a different expression. A darker one. “Sorry doesn’t mean-”

 

“Sorry doesn’t mean a thing, yeah, I know.” Changbin interrupts, feeling like he’s gonna word vomit. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but the alcohol buzzing in his veins makes him louder. More braver. “But I think it sure means something when I’m clearly in love with you.”

 

“Yeah, I do love you. Felix, I love you a lot. I’ve loved you for months now. I fell in love ever since I saw you dancing alone in that practice room far down the hall. I wish I had known it back then. The fact that you’re gonna have the biggest influence on my life. A boy with his low voice and hundred freckles.”

 

“I love every single part of you, Felix. I love all your flaws, even though I don’t think you even have those, and I love all the parts of you that you’re struggling with. I love them because they all make up you.”

 

“Changbin hyung..” Felix mumbles, his gaze shy. The atmosphere around them has changed, Changbin can feel the sweetness of it all smother him. Strangle him. He needs to get out before he says anything else dumb. Felix clearly doesn’t feel the same. 

 

“You don’t have to say anything, okay. I just wanted to let it all out. Leave it in 2018. And I-I see you’ve stopped crying. So that’s better, huh.” Changbin chuckles awkwardly, pushing himself up. He grabs the bottles of champagne from the floor, doing everything to avoid Felix. “You should go and wash up, okay? We’ll wait for you on the roof.” Felix is standing up too. 

 

Changbin feels his heart thrum in his ears. Is he going deaf? Is he having a heart attack? Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Changbin.

 

“Changbin hyung.” Felix tries again, his voice steadier this time. Whatever he has to say, Changbin would rather not hear it. The pain of being turned down is something he doesn’t want to feel when the clock strikes 00:00. When the year changes. 

 

“You can turn me down tomorrow, okay?” Changbin says, before he pushes past Felix. He picks up his pace, almost jogging to the staircase. Quickly away from the younger. Away from his burning eyes. Even though all his heart wants is to stay. 

  
  
  
  
  


Changbin doesn’t get his New Year’s kiss.

 

When the clock strikes 00:00 and the loud sound of fireworks ring in his head, all he feels is emptiness. But it’s definitely not a bad kind of empty. Atleast that’s what he tells himself as he hears his friends’ loud laughter and cheers, arms hugging him tightly and fingers intertwining with his.

 

He watches as Minho cradles Jisung’s head gently in his hands, pressing the sweetest kiss on the younger’s lips as they share their secrets and promises between the small distance of their faces. He knows he shouldn’t be looking, it’s an intimate moment for the two, so he turns his gaze back to the colorful and smoky sky. But the smile on his face doesn’t vanish. 

 

The smile stays there thanks to his friends. It’s thanks to his best friend Jisung. It’s thanks to Minho loving Jisung with his everything. It’s thanks to Chan and Hyunjin and-

 

Felix.

 

He didn’t make it to the rooftop on the right time. But Changbin can’t blame him. Felix had a tough night, being used by someone you trusted and then being confessed to. He surely just needs time to be alone and get used to everything.

 

Changbin just hopes he didn’t ruin the 1st of January for Felix.

 

Because when he watches the fireworks, the whole bright city down his feet, when he feels the harsh winter wind blow in his face not so gently, he feels alive. And he knows if only he had Felix with him too, that feeling would never leave his bones.

 

“We’re gonna head downstairs, are you coming?” Hyunjin grips Changbin’s shoulder, pulling him further away from the edge. Hyunjin’s eyes are warm and sympathetic as he looks at Changbin, like he knows Changbin had just poured his heart out and gotten nothing in return.

 

Changbin looks around for a second, realising that the others must have left already. Hyunjin follows his gaze and replies like he could easily read his mind. “Hyungs and Jisung went down already, because Jisung was cold and.. You know. Hyungs are too whipped for Jisung to let him leave alone.”

 

“Oh. I must’ve had some deep thoughts for not noticing.” Changbin says, trying to make it less serious by letting out a laugh. But of course he had been thinking about Felix, it’s always Felix. Felix. Felix. Like a never ending mantra.

 

“If you need some time alone, I’ll just go, okay?” Hyunjin gives him a reassuring smile and squeezes his shoulder once more. Changbin had forgotten the younger’s hand was still there. It’s comforting. “But don’t stay here for too long. It’s too cold.” 

 

“Thank you.” Changbin mumbles as he watches the latter turn around and pick up the last of the empty champagne bottles. He turns around to face the big sky, the world that lies ahead of him. 

 

In 2019 he promises to let himself live more freely.

 

Like the fireworks that fly up in the sky, he wants to be free just like them. No more holding back because of second thoughts. 

 

Because good things might slip from your hands if you waste too much time. But the regret never leaves. You just have to learn how to live with it while it suffocates your insides forever.

 

Changbin doesn’t want to feel it anymore.

 

The door to the rooftop flies open with a loud bang, and Changbin nearly has a heart attack when he quickly turns around just to be met with another loud crash. Someone has tackled him on the ground. 

 

He groans as he feels the pain in his bones from coming in contact with the hard surface under him. “Are you okay, Bin hyung?” Felix asks, his voice filled with concern as his  _ beautiful ethereal glowing magnificent _ face is only mere inches apart from Changbin’s. Changbin feels himself blush. Hard. It’s not better when he realises that Felix’s arms are looped around his neck and the younger is literally straddling his lap.

 

“W-Why did you do that?” Changbin mutters, groaning as he pushes himself up on one elbow, not minding the fact that he has to support both his and Felix’s weight. His other arm curls protectively around Felix’s waist, like it’s a dream and he has to fight with his everything to not let Felix go. 

 

“I-I wanted to say, Bin hyung…” Felix’s cheeks reflect Changbin’s shade of red as Changbin stares in his big eyes, stares at his countless freckles and plump lips. Watches as Felix bites down on it softly, before gathering the last bits of his courage and bringing their faces together.

 

Changbin’s lips meet his lips halfway.

 

And sure, there are fireworks going off in his stomach. In his heart. In his head.

 

The kiss is nothing like their first one. It’s filled with lust, longing and heartbreak. It’s filled with hundred thousand emotions and Changbin knows it’s a mess. It’s sloppy but it’s perfect. Felix’s soft lips work with Changbin’s in the most amazing pace. 

 

When Changbin tries to deepen the kiss, his tongue asking for further access, Felix pulls back just a little. Changbin can’t help the disappointed whine that leaves his mouth when Felix laughs at him. “We’ll have plenty of time to do this later, Binnie hyung.”

 

“But I wanna do it right now.” Changbin pecks the younger on the lips. Oh, it’s so sweet, will he ever get used to it? “Even if I can feel my ass freeze. And I’m pretty sure my legs have gone numb.” Felix laughs, his whole body shaking with laughter on top of Changbin, and the happiness spreads through the older like medicine. 

 

“Changbin hyung, I love you too.” Felix looks at him with his big brown eyes, filled with warmth while they’re so incredibly welcoming. “Let’s go inside now, my knees hurt.” He whines adorably, the huge grin never leaving his face.

  
  
  
  
  


Changbin finds it hard not to pout when the younger says he’ll be leaving South-Korea for a week to go back home to Australia. Because just when he had discovered that kissing Felix is his favorite activity, they’re breaking apart again. 

 

The different time zones aren’t atleast that huge of a deal. It’s Changbin’s needy ass that is indeed a big, big problem.

  
  


**Me**

 

u better get ur ass back here quickly

_ 21:34 _

 

**Lix**

 

or else what ;)

_ 21:35 _

 

**Me**

 

i’ll tell everyone that my boyfriend thought mac and cheese stands for mcdonalds cheese

_ 21:35 _

 

**Lix**

 

if you’re gonna claim me as your boyfriend better ask me out irl

_ 21:36 _

 

**Lix**

 

u pussy 

_ 21:36 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u oomf in law for the mac and cheese tweet.. ur a hero 
> 
> I HOPE U ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR PLEASE KEEP SUPPORTING ME BC IT MAKES ME TRULY HAPPY ILY!!!!!!!!!   
> im also gonna release a woochan oneshot soon, so if u wanna see that dont hesitate to subscribe to my acc :')


	19. Marathon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... its here- The last chapter of this Never Ending Mess.  
> it doesnt really go under an epilogue bc its more like a really detailed date n idk,,, i just wanted to make it special and ending fics is always hard, so i hope even tho i took a different path, u still like it.  
> also i feel like Felix absolutely deserves to be spoiled like this and Changbin is the perfect man for this so :')  
> do enjoy the last ever chapter of Lean On Me and again, im sorry for any mistakes!

_“You’re so romantic for doing something like this, Bin hyung,”_ Jisung cooes on the other side of the phone, while Changbin nervously waits for updates.

 

_“Hey, it was partly my idea too.”_ Minho whines then, and Changbin would hang up if he really didn’t need the other two right now. Minho and Jisung were a big part of the plan after all. They were his partners in _not-really-a-crime-but-rather-a-sweet-gesture._ If one of them fucks this up now, the whole planning would go to a waste. Not to talk about the huge amount of cash this took from Changbin.

 

It’s worth it.

 

“Can you keep your arguing for later? You know I’m trying to relax my mind before this huge _date_ or whatever,” Changbin throws his free arm in the air even though the other two boys can’t see his frustrated gestures, “but you aren’t exactly helping.”

 

_“Just tell Sungie I helped you come up with the idea and I will stop whining forever.”_ Minho says, dramatically, and Changbin’s pretty sure he hears Jisung whisper a little _“oh my god, just stop”_ right after.

 

“It’s not my fault Jisung doesn’t think you’re romantic. And I’m definitely not gonna be the person that spices up your love life.” Changbin is already gagging at the thought. “Try harder next time, Minho hyung.”

 

Jisung chortles, before Changbin hears the boy muffle his next sentence, directed at Minho, _“baby, don’t be upset, I know you’re the most romantic guy out there.”_

 

But it’s true, Minho had been the one who came up with the idea. Without Minho, Changbin would’ve probably asked Felix to be his boyfriend at the cinema or something even less romantic. Like the bathroom of Burger King after Changbin clumsily spilled his milkshake and Felix, being the angel he is, made him strip out of his dirty jeans and tried to save them. The jeans, I mean. Because no one would’ve been able to save Changbin that night. Yes, not even Felix couldn’t save Changbin’s disgraced self that night.

 

Changbin was so moved he almost said the words out loud. _Will you be my boyfriend?_

 

But thanks to his, and of course Minho’s super genius plan, Changbin will now definitely be the boyfriend of the year.

 

If Felix wants to be his, after all.

 

_“Ok, Minnie refuses to help out on the mission.”_ Jisung says then, but he doesn’t sound upset. It’s how playful those two can be without getting mad at each other that Changbin admires. _“He’s making ugly faces at me now.”_

 

“Jisung, Minho, I love you two, but this is not the reason I called you,” Changbin sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead. He has to suppress his laughter while the images of Minho’s silliest faces flood his mind. “I should’ve just made Chan hyung help me out.”

 

_“Well, for your luck, It’s too late now, you moth man.”_

 

“What did you just call me?”  

 

_“Wait, shh, I think he’s coming!”_ Jisung yells, eagerly. _“I mean, target spotted, commander!”_ He gushes, like he’s some spy in a crappy action movie. Changbin can imagine him pressed against the window of Minho’s parents old van, tongue slightly peeking through his parted lips and eyes ready to pop out of his head from excitement.  

 

Changbin rushes up from his seat at the words, his heart stuck in his throat. “Flowers! Flowers! Those fucking flowers! Where did I put the damn flowers?” He looks around, seeing everything but not the hundred thousand vases.

 

_“They’re right on the table next to the front door,”_ Jisung helps him, and Changbin’s glad when he turns around and indeed spots the beautiful flowers staring right back at him. Thank god Jisung and Minho had helped him set up the place.

 

Changbin spurts forward, already gathering the bouquets in his hands. He tries to be as gentle as he can with the excitement and anxiousness he feels mixing in his bones. And stomach.

 

_“Bin, you have approximately one minute before Felix steps in, so we’re gonna drive off, okay?”_ Minho’s finally back on the phone, and hearing his sane voice next to Jisung’s endless blabbering manages to calm him down a little. They both wish him good luck in unison as they end the call and Changbin forgets all about the device as he puts it down on the table.

 

He has something much more important coming up.

 

Changbin manages to gather all of the flowers in his arms just as the front door opens slightly and he spots Felix’s confused face peeking in. Somehow, he relaxes immediately at the sight of the boy he loves _oh so much._ It’s gonna be okay after all.

 

“Changbin hyung? What’s all of this?” Felix says, taking in the sight in front of him. Changbin, suited up, his lap full of bouquets as he waits for him.

 

But Changbin’s just as busy looking at Felix, his rosy cheeks and slightly chubby cheeks. The scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. Changbin can bet on 10000 KRW that Felix had been nuzzling his nose against it, hiding his face from the harsh wind as much as possible.

 

_Adorable._

 

“Hyung?” Felix’s voice is even smaller this time, Changbin realising that taking in all of this happening in front of him must have made him shy.

 

“Lix,” Changbin says, stepping forward as he takes a shaky breath, the flowers feeling heavy against his chest as he hopes that Felix accepts all of this.

 

“You know how in movies, people always sit through these long dinners with their loved ones, feeling anxious as they wait till they can finally ask _the question?_ The most important question of their life time?” Changbin jumps right into it, knowing if he wasted any more time his knees would give out under him.

 

“Wait, this isn’t a marriage proposal, right?” Felix laughs, and Changbin tries to give him a stern look for interrupting his speech, but he can’t. This is Felix after all, the boy with the prettiest smile in the whole wide universe. All of that just melts away when Felix grins at him, his face warm.

 

“Thanks for ruining the mood.” Changbin jokes, but he feels his heart skip a beat when Felix rushes towards him, grabbing his hand gently.

 

“No, no, baby, I was just joking,” He pouts a little, eyes sympathetic. “Continue, my love. And I promise I’ll stay quiet.”

 

Felix lets go and Changbin takes another deep breath, gathering his courage. The tiny bit of it he somehow still hasn’t lost.

 

“Well, I didn’t wanna do it like that. Like other people. Normal people,” He chortles cheekily, and smiles when Felix muffles a laugh. “I’m tired of waiting for you to be mine. So I thought- Well, Minho and I thought to be frank, that instead of spending the whole night together so I can finally ask you _the question_ , I can just start with it.”

 

“And then we can eat later, of course. I didn’t pay for all of this just to go home, you know?” He says, letting out a low chuckle. He had made a reservation so the whole restaurant would be empty, booked just for the two of them. No nosy paparazzi, no loud and judging people, just the two of them in their own little world.

 

And, well, of course the staff.  

 

Felix reflects the toothy grin Changbin feels on his face, both smiling at each other like idiots.

 

“So..”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No, you have to let me ask the question first.”

 

“But I can’t wait any longer!”

 

“Felix, will you-”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Felix,” Changbin’s voice is louder this time. His face is smiling, but his eyes are saying _“if you interrupt me now, I’ll seriously make you regret it.”_ It gets the brat to shut up, but only for a mere second.

 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” The words roll off his tongue, feeling like Changbin has waited years to ask this.

 

“Of course, oh my god.” Felix replies immediately, finally closing the distance between them and circling his arms around Changbin’s neck. But before he can bring their faces together, Changbin’s reminded by the flowers in his hands and he takes a step back.

 

“I forgot!” Changbin exclaims, as Felix gives him a confused look. “The main part of this whole show and we just almost killed them.”

 

“What are you talking about? Who’s _them?_ ” Felix whines a little, clearly upset about being turned down from a kiss.

 

“These!” Changbin fixes the flowers in his hands. “I spent hours learning about different flowers, memorizing the real meanings of them all, just to get you the best ones. The most meaningful ones,” Changbin says with a wink.

 

Felix blushes at the confession and Changbin feels his heart skip a beat again, in real awe at the thought that he is capable of making the younger’s cheeks look like that. He unwraps the paper around the flowers and takes a deep breath. Again.

 

“So, firstly..” He clears his throat as he tears his gaze from the bouquets in his arms to Felix. “I have some asters for you. They symbolize patience, and I really need to thank you for being so patient with me. It took me forever to realise you’re all I really want. Need.” Changbin smiles sheepishly at Felix’s surprised reaction when he accepts the flowers.

 

“Wow, you really weren’t joking around?” Felix asks, smelling the purple flowers. “You didn’t have to do so much, baby.”

 

Changbin tries not to get stuck on the pet name.

 

“Yes, I had to. It’s what you deserve!” He says, nodding his head at a furious speed when Felix laughs. “And I’m only getting started, so prepare!”

 

He reaches for the hydrangea flowers, definitely one of his favorites from now on. “This is hydrangea.” Changbin gives them to an anticipating Felix. “It symbolizes heartfelt emotions and it can be used to express gratitude for being understood. And you know I’m really lucky I have someone so understanding like you.. I fucked it all up because I was scared of losing you, but you forgave me.”  _Even if I don't deserve it._

 

“I thought we left that all behind, Binnie.” Felix pouts a little as he hides between the huge flowers. Changbin knows the topic is still fresh and obviously hurts, but he had to make sure Felix has really forgiven him. And now he has to fight the urge to reach across and kiss the pout away.

 

“I know, I know,” He apologises, already looking for another bouquet of flowers. “This is why the next flowers are daffodils! They indicate new beginnings, and I hope from the bottom of my ugly heart that today is one for us.”

 

“Shut up, your heart isn’t ugly,” Felix says as he accepts the daffodils, but he’s laughing again and Changbin is glad the sad topic is hopefully behind them for the rest of the night. “That’s a really pretty meaning though, and I hope so too.” He smiles, genuine and sweet.

 

“You look good with all of these flowers in your hands,” Changbin smiles as he looks down at the last two left. “You're my flower boy.” He whispers, and he hears Felix giggle. 

 

A white chrysanthemum is next.

 

“I hope you accept this one because.. It stands for truth and loyal love and I just want you to know I will always be honest with you. I will be _loyal_ and stay by your side as long as you let me to. And I will never keep any secrets, I promise.”

 

Felix’s touch lingers on his hand a little bit longer this time, and Changbin can see the younger’s eyes well up with tears. He tries to hide the fact that he’s about to sob by plastering a big smile on his face, and Changbin feels his heart break at the sight. “It’s okay, Lixie, don't cry. I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Felix replies back shyly, hiding his face behind the chrysanthemum. “And I definitely want more of these. I think these are my favorite flowers from now on.”

 

“You’re only saying this because you haven’t seen the last one yet.” Changbin says, confidently smirking. He saved the best for last. Atleast he thinks so.

 

“See, these are white heathers. Okay, maybe they aren’t as beautiful as the chrysanthemum but, hear me out.” Changbin says, finally stepping closer to Felix as he takes all of the flowers from his hands and puts them back in the different vases. Felix lets him move without a question, waiting silently.

 

Changbin turns back to Felix with white heathers in his hands and eyes full of love. They’re only standing mere inches apart and he knows they’re both glowing red, cheeks warm, but it’s okay. It’s them.

 

“These symbolize protection, my love. I will protect you from everything and everyone bad. I won’t let anyone hurt you. And, well,” He smirks confidently and puffs a little. “No one would want to mess with me anyway. You know how big guns this jacket is hiding.”

 

“You’re so stupid,” Felix laughs, but Changbin knows he’s moved by the words. He hopes Felix knows how sincere he is when he says all of these things.

 

“They also indicate that all your wishes will come true,” Changbin says, taking the last step and snaking his free arm around Felix’s waist, bringing their foreheads together. “Even if you have a hard time believing in yourself, I will be here. I will make sure even the tiniest dreams of yours will come true. Trust me. I will make it all work.” Changbin says, pressing the last flowers into Felix’s open palm.

 

“I trust you.”

 

That’s all he really needs to hear before he brings their lips together, sharing a sweet mouth to mouth kiss. Nothing too much, but enough to get Felix to tangle his free hand in Changbin’s hair and card his fingers through it affectionately. Changbin swears he could die when the younger does it.

 

He whimpers a little and feels his whole neck turn red when they part a little, foreheads still pressed together. Felix giggles and Changbin can’t help but smile himself.

 

“This feels unreal.”

 

He understands completely.

 

“Especially because-” Changbin steals a quick kiss before he lets a giggling Felix continue, “you got me all these flowers-” another kiss is stolen, but can you really mind Changbin, “but not the most basic yet most loved, most romantic flowers?” Felix looks into Changbin’s eyes, grinning cheekily. “Where are my red roses, Bin hyung?”

 

Changbin takes Felix’s face into his hands, holding his chin gently as he turns it towards the left side of the big restaurant. “If you look there, my love, there’s a table waiting for us next to that big window. With dozens of red roses just for you.” Changbin would never forget something like this, he’s a sappy, sentimental boy after all.

 

A glint flashes in Felix’s eyes as he notices the roses, the ones that actually mean real love, and grabs Changbin’s hand with his much smaller one. “Oh my god, I need to take a picture of those, Hyunjin will die of jealousy. Let’s go!” He says, pulling them both forward. Changbin chortles at the younger’s enthusiasm, but a simple smile takes over his features when he looks down at their joined hands.

 

This is the boy he loves, and finally, what feels like a lifetime later, he got him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its over???? after 8 months i feel EMPTY  
> but wow let me just say,,, thank you for reading? all my silent readers n people who left feedback i love you and im so thankful for ur endless support!!! ive made friends through this story n opened my eyes to minsung /thanks god/ so i couldnt be happier i decided to do this. now when i look back at the beginning chapters, im not so happy with them, but maybe thats good bc that means my writing has improved with these months? well i really hope so atleast :D
> 
> the chapter title of course is yet another day6 song wow Surprise. i always tried to use the songs that would fit with the chapter and this time, the last chapter, i feel like marathon is a perfect choice. the lyrics n meaning saying its okay to be slow and im now here by ur side ur not alone anymore.... that shit really happened here n it happened irl n im just Amazed n so happ y that changlix rly have each other in their lives oof. the bond between them, n skz overall, is something to look and wait for, really. u all deserve this and i hope u have it! 
> 
> i guess this is it then.. if you want to see what im up to dont be afraid to subscribe to my acc as i already have something next planned, and an ongoing minsung fic as of right now! but no pressure hehe
> 
> thank you and love you always!!! Felix Voice "ppoppo as in????" *motions a finger to my cheek*

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! <3 
> 
> dont be scared to hmu on twt, id love to make new friends [@chnbangs](https://twitter.com/chnbangs)  
> and if theres any questions leave em here [taegukked](https://curiouscat.me/taegukked)  
> 


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